Welcome to the DAD.Info forum: Important Information – open to read:
Our forum aims to provide support and guidance where it can, however we may not always have the answer. The forum is not moderated 24 hours a day, so If you – or someone you know – are being harmed or in immediate danger of being harmed, call the police on 999.
Alternatively, if you are in crisis, please call Samaritans on 116 123.
If you are worried about you or someone you know is at risk of harm, please click here: How we can help
Hi all,
Firstly i'd like to thank anyone who takes the time to read and reply to this thread, any help is much appreciated.
I'm at a bit of a loss as to what i am required to pay as child maintenance- My daughters is aged 9 and previously i paid £150 per month in child maintenance, this was up until 2 years ago when i was made redundant from my employment.
I explained this to my daughters mother who seemed "ok" with the fact that i had to put a hault on maintenance payments until i was in secure employment again.
I have now been in a secure employment for 8 months now earning £6.19 per week on a "0" hour contract, of course i never recieved 0 hours, i usually average anywhere from 25 to 40 depending on the requirements of the business, in the meantime of me being made redundant and finding another permenant employment my daughters mother relocated 15 miles away without a second thought to myself, now i dont expect her to ask for my permission of course, however i would of expected her to atleast make me aware of the situation, as i now have to cover costs of travelling a 60 mile round trip on each occasion that i see my daughter.
I currently have custody of my daughter every other weekend from 5pm friday up until 4pm sundays- this has only been for the last 3 months as i was previously restricted my my ex to 1 night a fortnight which simply wasn't enough time to spend "quality time" with m daughter.
I recieved a text from my ex 3 days ago asking for maintenance to be re-instated which i agreed to, however i explained to her that she cant just move 15 miles away and expect the same amount of maintenance and also stated that i am on a substantially reduced wage in comparrison to my previous employment.
Now the bit that frustrates me, i have purchased many many items for my daughter which was taken home by her including a TV for her bedroom which was put into her younger siblings bedroom, my ex is currently paying for a wedding and is "out on the town" every weekend whilst my daughter is always wearing tatty clothes with holes in them everytime i pick her up, so much so that as soon as she arrives at my house she gets changed into clothes that i have for her in her bedroom.
What i really need to know is how much csa am i expected to pay, does the fact that she re-located 15 miles away causing me an added cost of picking my daughter up get taken into account? I currently live with my girlfriend who has a child of her own (i am not the father) and feel that my daughters mother is not being realistic- i am more than happy to buy purchases for my daughter to take home with her- clothes ect but i would rather not have to transfer the money directly into my ex's account- can this be done through the csa that i purchase items for my daughter rather than giving her the money directly?
Thanks for any advice in advance.
Chris
Hello Christyler
I am William a Child Maintenance Options Consultant. I would like to give you some information to help you answer your questions. Child Maintenance is the regular and reliable financial support, paid to help towards a child’s everyday living costs. This includes things such as food and clothing, and a contribution towards the home that the children live in. Having said this, there are no exact definitions or rules to explain what your daughter's mother has to spend this money on. The Child Support Agency (CSA) would not allow you to purchase items for your daughter instead of paying money to her mother. Once the CSA have made the calculation of how much child maintenance is to be paid, any additional payments or purchases that the paying parent makes would be done at their own discretion.
In some circumstances, the CSA can take into account travel expenses incurred by the paying parent to visit their child. However, the rules around this are complex and for information about how they work out travel expenses and what affect this has on maintenance, you will need to speak to them directly. You can find the CSA's contact details on their website at https://www.gov.uk/child-maintenance.
As you and your daughter's mother have been able to negotiate in the past, you may find that you are able to discuss these issues and make an agreement together. Collaborating to keep a child maintenance arrangement can be better for your daughter, as it can keep you both focused on her needs. We call this type of agreement a family-based arrangement. It is simply an agreement between you and your daughter's mother, about who will provide what for her. Although a family-based arrangement is not legally binding it is flexible in that it can be changed as your daughter's needs change. The main thing is that you are both in agreement, and that your arrangement remains amicable.
Your family-based arrangement does not have to be just about you paying money. It can include other kinds of support such as the buying of things that your daughter needs, such as the clothing that you mentioned in your post. You can also agree together any other factors that you may take into consideration when calculating the amount to be paid, such as the travel costs involved in picking her up.
You can discuss and negotiate your family-based arrangement without involving anyone else or with the help of friends, family, Child Maintenance Options' guides or a professional mediator. Some of our guides which can help you to negotiate with your daughter's mother include our Child maintenance decisions guide: A guide to talking about money and another called Information for parents living apart from their child. We also have a guide which has information that may be of benefit to your daughter's mother called Information for parents with the day-to-day care of their child.
We have other information that you can look at or download from our website that may also help you, such as our Discussion guide which can help you plan and prepare your conversation with your daughter's mother. There is also a family-based arrangement form available. This is not a legally enforceable document but may put your agreement on a more formal basis. You can complete this with your daughter's mother and sign your names to show your commitment to your arrangement. If you think that any of these will be useful you can find them at http://www.cmoptions.org/en/toolbox/index.asp.
You can get an indication of the amount that may be payable if you were to use the services of the CSA by using our online calculator on our website at http://www.cmoptions.org/en/calculator/calculator.asp. The figure calculated can be used as a starting point for your negotiations.
We also have a sorting out separation web-app on our website at http://www.cmoptions.org/en/sortingoutseparation/index.asp that you may find useful, as it offers help and support to separated families.
If you find that you can not negotiate a family-based arrangement you can find information about all of the options available on our website at http://cmoptions.org. Alternatively, if you would prefer a confidential chat with one of our team, you can phone us on 0800 988 0988, which is free from a landline. We also have other information about separation that you may find useful on our website.
I hope this helps.
Welcome to the DAD.info forum.
We don’t like to set ‘rules’, but to make sure that you and the other dads are kept safe, we have some requests. When engaging with the forum, please be aware of the following:
- The forum is not moderated 24 hours per day.
- Many of the moderators do so on a voluntary basis. Whilst they may be able to provide some guidance, advice or support, they may not be able to deal with specifics.
- We are not an emergency crisis service so if you or someone else is in immediate danger, please call emergency services.
- If you are concerned about the safety of a child, please click here to find the support you can get for them (link to new page)
- If you are in crisis, please call Samaritans on 116 123. They are open 24 hours a day, 7 days per week.
We hope you find this forum a supportive environment and thank you for joining us.