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Hi
Just after some info as starting to get really stressed. Btw I have filled in appropriate forms so awaiting the outcome.
I currently have my 9 yr old twins 6nights out of every 14, in other words my exwife has them one day a week more than me. We share all school holidays. However the divorce was NOT amicable (.her choice, I left her). She has a new partner living with her,who has his 9 yr old boy stay every other w.end.
My ex is on £27 k a yr in her job, don't know about her bf, she also gets tax credits and child benefit. On top of this Im paying £130 per moth maintenance which is not through CSA but what they have calculated .
I earn 15k per yr, surely I am entiltled to at least some of these benefits (some ppl, i.e friends etc have told me the MAIN carer gets them, again she has them ONE day a week more).
Im getting really stressed as really cant afford my bills - my outgoings are FAR more than what my income is. Would like to know any guys on here know if I would be entitled to at least a share of the above benefits. All replies greatly appreciated, many thanks in advance guys!!!!
I have been advised by a few friends etc, that as she is the main carer I do not qualify for benefits, if this proves to be the case, there is no way I can afford to keep my house, pay bills, which will result in me losing my access to my kids. PLease can anyone advise me Im absolutely rock bottom and feel like giving up!!
...I am so sorry that you're finding it so tough, but unfortunately she is classed as the Resident parent, or Parent With Care, and as such she is entitled to the benefits and tax credits. Should she go through the CSA they would not take her salary, or that of her BF into account, as maintenance is calculated solely on your income only. Its an awfully unjust system and yet another one in the eye for Dads...
Have you used the CSA calculator to see if you are paying the correct amount? For every night they stay with you in a week you can deduct 1/7th of the maintenance you pay, for 2 night its a 2/7th reduction and so on....so for you it would be a reduction of 3/7ths of the overall weekly amount.
yes I have used calculator. I pay maintenance from day one, take my kids out clothe them feed them, fun days out, but im stressing as I cant do this anymore. I work full time and know im going to lose my home etc. I really don't know what im going to do
I know its only a small amount you could save, but you should not have to clothe them - that should all be included in the maintenance you pay to your ex.
Hello Welshred
Thank you for your post. I am William, the Child Maintenance Options consultant. I understand you have 9 year old twins and you believe that as you have your children almost as much as your ex-wife, you should be entitled to some of the benefits your ex-wife receives.
To find out if you are entitled to receive a share of tax credits or Child Benefit you may wish to visit www.gov.uk. This is a government website which provides information about benefits and work entitlements.
Under the child support legislation, the Child Support Agency (CSA) can reduce the amount of child maintenance that is paid, if your children stay overnight with you on average at least one night a week. The reduction will take in to account the number of times your children stay overnight.
If your children spend an equal amount of time staying overnight with each of you, the parent who receives Child Benefit for your children can still apply for child maintenance. The other parent would then be classed as the paying parent. The CSA then works out how much child maintenance should be paid based on a percentage of your net weekly income.
You have said that you pay £130 per month. If this is through a family-based arrangement, there are no strict rules or formulas to follow so you and your ex-wife can decide between you what to include in your arrangement. A family-based arrangement does not have to be just about money, it can include other kinds of support including days out and buying clothes for your children, as long as you and your ex-wife are happy with what you have agreed. This arrangement is not legally binding but it is flexible and can be changed if either you or your ex-wife has a change in your circumstances.
If you want some help planning your conversation or talking to your ex-wife about money, we have a "discussion guide" to help you. This is available to download from our website.
To help you maintain your family-based arrangement, we have a family-based arrangement form that is not a legally enforceable document but may put your agreement on a more formal basis. You can complete this together with your ex-wife and sign your names to show your commitment to your arrangement. If you feel any of these will help you, they are easy to print from our website at http://www.cmoptions.org..
If you are using the CSA'S Direct Pay service and they calculated your maintenance, you would be legally liable to pay this amount. However, you would not be expected to make any additional contributions unless you wish to do so. If you would like further information about this you may wish to contact the CSA directly at http://www.gov.uk/childmaintenance.
We have a sorting out separation web-app that you may find useful, it offers help and support to separated families. You can find this at: http://www.dad.info/divorce-and-separation/sorting-out-separation.
To find out more about how Child Maintenance Options can help you visit: http://www.cmoptions.org. If you would prefer a friendly and confidential chat, please give the team a call on 0800 988 0988.
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