Welcome to the DAD.Info forum: Important Information – open to read:
Our forum aims to provide support and guidance where it can, however we may not always have the answer. The forum is not moderated 24 hours a day, so If you – or someone you know – are being harmed or in immediate danger of being harmed, call the police on 999.
Alternatively, if you are in crisis, please call Samaritans on 116 123.
If you are worried about you or someone you know is at risk of harm, please click here: How we can help
Morning all,
I'm brand new to this so bear with me!!!!
Can anyone give any advise on the below for me:
Me and my ex wife have shared custody of the kids. Everything is 50/50 and shared and we just sort out everything we need to sort out for the days we have them. As we have 50/50 I obviously pay nothing and she actually pays me half the CHB. This has worked for a year and a half.
Unfortunately she has now split with her fella and I now have concerns about how safe I am with this agreement as nothing is set by courts/divorce etc. She has asked me to tell JCP she has the kids so she can get some extra benefits to help her as she is on her own now. I've said no as its fraud and I'd have to put my name to it. I am now uneasy she will try to come for me for money or change the arrangements we have agreed with the 50/50 share of the kids. Does anyone have any advise on how to set in stone our agreement without getting courts involved? Just want to protect myself and my time with the kids.
Cheers, Andy
To be honest there isnt any way to secure your position, aside fom a court order.
You could try mediation and get some written agreement in place, this is called a Memorandum of Understanding, but its not legally binding.
As she is the child benefit claimant, that would be all the proof she would need to open a case with the CMS.
It might be better if you can agree to claim child benefit for one child each, that would mitigate any claim she might have with the CMS, although she could still claim for the child that she gets the child benefit for. Im assuming that there are two children. But you get the idea...
All the best
Hello Andy80
As mentioned previously, you may wish to seek legal advice to have your contact arrangement made binding.
With regards to maintenance, if your ex-wife was to apply to the Child Maintenance Service, they would calculate maintenance based on the usual factors of the income of the paying parent and the amount of overnight stays with the paying parent. If the evidence proved that care was shared exactly 50/50, there may be no maintenance requirement. Again, evidence of 50/50 care may have to be in the form of a court order if it cannot be agreed between you.
If you would like any further information about the options available to set up child maintenance and to receive a more personalised service, you can contact Child Maintenance Options directly, http://www.cmoptions.org.
The Department for Work and Pensions (DWP) have a website, ‘Sorting out separation’. It aims to make it much easier for separating and separated parents (and childless couples) to find the support they need, when and where they need it, and encourages them to collaborate on a range of issues. The link is https://www.sortingoutseparation.org.uk/
Regards
William
Welcome to the DAD.info forum.
We don’t like to set ‘rules’, but to make sure that you and the other dads are kept safe, we have some requests. When engaging with the forum, please be aware of the following:
- The forum is not moderated 24 hours per day.
- Many of the moderators do so on a voluntary basis. Whilst they may be able to provide some guidance, advice or support, they may not be able to deal with specifics.
- We are not an emergency crisis service so if you or someone else is in immediate danger, please call emergency services.
- If you are concerned about the safety of a child, please click here to find the support you can get for them (link to new page)
- If you are in crisis, please call Samaritans on 116 123. They are open 24 hours a day, 7 days per week.
We hope you find this forum a supportive environment and thank you for joining us.