Welcome to the DAD.Info forum: Important Information – open to read:
Our forum aims to provide support and guidance where it can, however we may not always have the answer. The forum is not moderated 24 hours a day, so If you – or someone you know – are being harmed or in immediate danger of being harmed, call the police on 999.
Alternatively, if you are in crisis, please call Samaritans on 116 123.
If you are worried about you or someone you know is at risk of harm, please click here: How we can help
Hello I've seem lots and lots of helpful information on here and spend some hours reading through previous threads but haven't come across the answers that I'm looking for so any help would be appreciated.
I've always paid maintenance through a private arrangement with my ex - daughter is 16yrs old. There's no court order etc but she has stayed with me and my wife every other weekend for the last 7 years and similar with me and another ex for years before this.
I haven't yet worked out what the calculation says I would pay if ex opens a case - but she's threatening to as there has been a huge argument about money- one of many over the years. Nothing is ever enough, on top of maintenance that I've never missed I pay towards school shoes, uniform, take her on holiday abroad every year, spend usually least £100-£200 each Xmas and birthday on presents. Pay pocket money each month and small amount into savings plus in the last 2 years I've paid around £100 per month towards private maths and English tuition, half towards an expensive birthday party and few hundred towards school prom.
Question is if ex contacts cms can I prove there is an arrangement in place? All money is via bank transfer and maintenance is standing order or will they take her word if she says she doesn't accept it anymore and proceed with the case?
Thanks for ant advice I'm just wondering what to expect if she goes through with her threats!
Hi,
In cms book it says they take private arrangements into account. As far as I know if your ex wants to it to go through CMS then they will do that.
You can use this calculator to get good idea of how much you would expect to pay her under CMS:
https://www.gov.uk/calculate-child-maintenance
If you have been paying over and above, then she might be disappointed if CMS make you pay a lower amount.
What you have been paying is irrelevant to CMS, they will only date your maintenance from the date the case is opened (and I would seriously consider opening the case yourself with them at a one-off cost of £20 - that gives you more control when to close the case). I'd certainly work on the calculator to see what you'd pay, and then stop paying anything extra that you don't want to pay.
Welcome to the DAD.info forum.
We don’t like to set ‘rules’, but to make sure that you and the other dads are kept safe, we have some requests. When engaging with the forum, please be aware of the following:
- The forum is not moderated 24 hours per day.
- Many of the moderators do so on a voluntary basis. Whilst they may be able to provide some guidance, advice or support, they may not be able to deal with specifics.
- We are not an emergency crisis service so if you or someone else is in immediate danger, please call emergency services.
- If you are concerned about the safety of a child, please click here to find the support you can get for them (link to new page)
- If you are in crisis, please call Samaritans on 116 123. They are open 24 hours a day, 7 days per week.
We hope you find this forum a supportive environment and thank you for joining us.