DAD.info
Forum - Ask questions. Get answers.

Thanks for joining us on the forum – glad to have you here. You are welcome to post 24/7 but please note that whilst we have forum moderators we will only be moderating the forum during office hours. If though you need urgent crisis help, please contact Samaritans on 116 123.

Spurgeons and Dad.Info doesn’t investigate reports of abuse or neglect. But below, you can find advice on who to contact if you have concerns about a child or young person.

 

Reporting a concern

It can be difficult to know what to do if you think a child is at risk. It’s important to remember that if you’ve spotted things that don’t seem right, others will have too. Speaking up can make sure that child gets help as soon as possible.

 

The sooner you contact your local children’s social care duty team, the quicker they can act. They’re available 24 hours a day, and can make an anonymous report if that feels safer. If a child is in immediate danger, please call the police straight away by dialling 999.

 

Report child abuse or neglect to your local council

Use these links to get in touch with your local council:

Private arrangement...
 
Notifications
Clear all

Private arrangement not working

 
(@stressedoutdad1)
New Member Registered

Hello I've seem lots and lots of helpful information on here and spend some hours reading through previous threads but haven't come across the answers that I'm looking for so any help would be appreciated.

I've always paid maintenance through a private arrangement with my ex - daughter is 16yrs old. There's no court order etc but she has stayed with me and my wife every other weekend for the last 7 years and similar with me and another ex for years before this. 

I haven't yet worked out what the calculation says I would pay if ex opens a case - but she's threatening to as there has been a huge argument about money- one of many over the years. Nothing is ever enough, on top of maintenance that I've never missed I pay towards school shoes, uniform, take her on holiday abroad every year, spend usually least £100-£200 each Xmas and birthday on presents. Pay pocket money each month and small amount into savings plus in the last 2 years I've paid around £100 per month towards private maths and English tuition, half towards an expensive birthday party and few hundred towards school prom.

Question is if ex contacts cms can I prove there is an arrangement in place? All money is via bank transfer and maintenance is standing order or will they take her word if she says she doesn't accept it anymore and proceed with the case?

Thanks for ant advice I'm just wondering what to expect if she goes through with her threats!

Quote
Topic starter Posted : 29/06/2023 10:01 pm
(@dadmod2)
Illustrious Member

Hi,

In cms book it says they take private arrangements into account. As far as I know if your ex wants to it to go through CMS then they will do that.

You can use this calculator to get good idea of how much you would expect to pay her under CMS:

https://www.gov.uk/calculate-child-maintenance

If you have been paying over and above, then she might be disappointed if CMS make you pay a lower amount.

ReplyQuote
Posted : 30/06/2023 7:37 am
(@dadmod4)
Illustrious Member

What you have been paying is irrelevant to CMS, they will only date your maintenance from the date the case is opened (and I would seriously consider opening the case yourself with them at a one-off cost of £20 - that gives you more control when to close the case). I'd certainly work on the calculator to see what you'd pay, and then stop paying anything extra that you don't want to pay.

ReplyQuote
Posted : 06/07/2023 12:47 pm
Share:

Pin It on Pinterest