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Hi everyone, I'll try and keep this brief as possible
I had a drubk ONS in July, foolishy without protection and morning after pill failed. I've known the girl for about 10 years and occasionally we all mix in mutual friendship group.
My ONS is now 12 weeks pregnant and says the child is mine 100% but doesn't expect anything off me and can be a secret but I can also be involved if I wish. She is keeping the baby and has based her decision by budgeting and planning on doing it alone.
At the time I knew she had been meeting a holiday romance before me and some of the dates she gave me for her last period changed which made me think a few things over as well as well as her telling me she doesn't know her cycle.
Anyway, after much soul searching and then speaking to my mum I decided I couldn't walk away, however I needed to be 100% sure 1st that the baby was mine and not just going off her word.
I mentioned a DNA test at babies birth and she has flat out refused it, said she won't be having one and how dare I offer her an ultimatum like that and that it would be hanging over her pregnancy and ruining it (we aren't together and never will be) I couldnt quite work out her reaction and this was over several days of her refusing saying no chance there is going to be a paternity test. She got very angry and said that would never happen. This set off several alarms.
She then said she will now leave me be and respects my decision to not want to be involved because of her not doing paternity test. She said she will keep my name out of it but tell people the father doesn't want to be involved.
My worry is, what if in say 4 years she decides she wants paternity test and I am the father, would I be liable to pay 4 years worth of support in arrears? Or will it be paid from the date of application?
Because of her reaction I am not going to pursue her for one when the child is born because I feel that even though the dates match, her reaction suggest otherwise.
Any advice would be really helpful as I can't seem to find an answer anywhere
hi, if she opens child maintenance case and your the father, then you pay from the date she opens the case.
@bill337 thank you. I don’t suppose you have a link to anywhere confirming that? I’m still struggling to find it in writing.
Thanks
@bill337
Thanks for that, much appreciated.
Also just to confirm, been that it was a ONS, not married, living together etc, I can only be proved/assumed to be the father via a DNA test? (which she is refusing)
Thanks
@rko28 way CMS works is if she opens case and names you as father, your expected to start paying. if you dispute this, you ask CMS for DNA test and they can help arrange this.
@bill337
Thanks, I presume if she refuses again to take a dna test that the case is closed?
to confirm, without a dna test, which I have already asked for and said I’m happy to do, there is no other way they can put parental responsibility on me?
@bill337 again thank you very much, but is this for Northern Ireland only?
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