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Good morning,
Now, i take you back to December 26th 2020, where by i had a ONS. Two weeks later, i got a text message saying that she was pregnant and that she wanted to keep it. She admitted that she had [censored] with another guy a few weeks before me, but she was adamant it is mine. I made it very clear i did not want to be with her or a father to any child, but she did not want to terminate (at 2 weeks), and she continued the pregnancy saying she would not ask me for any money, and wouldn't put me on the birth certificate, simply stating she desperately wanted to be a mother after having a miss carriage 4 years ago. I wished her all the best, and we did not speak again.
Fast forward to now, and i have a CMS letter in front of me. First of all, i have my doubts as to whether or not i am the biological father, so how should i approach that with CMS? Will they ask for a paternity DNA test to be done?
Secondly, even if i was to be proven to be a positive match on a DNA test, i simply do not have the amount of money they are asking for. I am extremely unstable financially, despite being in a full time job, i have over £20k of debts which i struggle to pay every month, not including my rent and living costs. I earn £1900 a month after tax, and £1850 of it goes on essential bills and debts. So there is no way i can pay CMS the money they are asking for, it's physically not there to give even if i wanted to...
I am not entitled to any benefits myself, so how am i supposed to live if they take £290 a month off me like they say they will, i will become homeless/bankrupt within months. I live in my overdraft which is maxed out at minus £700 every month, and my Mum (bless her) gives me money for my food shopping. I am in no position to give this woman a single penny.
Any advice would be appreciated.
hi,
if you have doubts about paternity, you can contact CMS. they can arrange a DNA test. but it is likely they would expect you to pay the monthly maintenance payments while your in process of getting DNA test. you could get in touch with step change, about managing your debts: https://www.stepchange.org/
I can't help but feel like she is 'honey trapping' me, even though there is no honey to take. She already has her housing and bills paid for, not to mention child support, she is certainly much better off than i am financially speaking.
Anyway, i spoke to a gentleman at CMS this morning and he was very helpful. I basically explained the above and it has now been referred back to the 'case worker' with my request for parentage status to be proven. He said there will be no attempt to take money off me until this process has been completed as i have requested the dispute before any arrangements were set up. I can only pray to God that i am not biologically linked to her child or i do not know what i will do to make ends meet. I have exhausted all options as it is, before this situation even arose. Stepchange cannot help me.
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