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hi all,
in short
just looking for some help as I'm pulling my hair out and I'm at my wits end, at the age of five i gained full custody of my daughter, from the age of 10 her mother got her self into a state where she was no longer fit to see her child, a lot of time has passed and I raised my daughter on my own, Unfortunatley i never claimed anything from her whilst she was in my care and did what most women hark on about on these kind of forums and 'manned up' 😉 i did it all by myself with no help from her. i have a legal court order proving this.
After a incident between my daughter and her mother they decided they didn't want to see each other and that remained the status quo until recently, I got them both back together and speaking and my daughter came out with a shocker that she wanted to go and live with her mom, Always doing right by her i agreed, she has since left and surprise surprise, I've had a letter from the csa claiming i need to pay x amount a month.
they are ringing me 5 times a day, with an amount i simply cannot afford and feel after doing my part her mother should 'step up' to the plate and do hers, this will never happen and she is just seeing me as a cash cow my daughter is now 18 but in full time education, i have spoke with the csa and there is apparently no way to backdate or make a retrospective claim for the 12 years i raised her all on my own! I worked so hard over the years to give her everything she needs and now it seems i have to continue just to fund her mother, I'm under no illusion she won't see a lot of this money!
do i have any standing whatsoever? like i say the amount based on my current out goings are critical to the point i may have to sell possessions or look to move in order to be able to live reletivley comfortably?
gutted
Hi,
What a moving story. Unfortunately there is nothing you can do about this: there is no way you can backdate a case and your ex-wife will have a claim against you all the time your daughter lives with you, she remains in full time education or reaches 20 (so, only 2 more years). Not very fair, but that is the law.
Why not speak with your daughter, she is now an adult, and explain it to her. It might be neatest if she lived with each of you for 50% of the time, therefore nullifying any claim.
Best wishes,
O
gutted, stepped up to the plate and got kicked in the bollocks
I truly hate the way the system works
... but, you have the inner satisfaction of knowing you did the right thing by your daughter. That is worth very much more, well done.
O
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