[Solved] My Ex Wife will not send my Daughter to stay

I would suggest that ALL future correspondence from you to your ex about this Child Contact should address the issue as 'your daughters right to see you', and not 'your right to see your daughter'.

I do not disagree with you an any way, but the courts and all the child welfare professionals come at this issue from the angle of "... what is right for the child".

Most "professionals" who would be advising Single Mums and female ex's are very conversant with this approach, and I bet you that your ex is already being coached to wrap everything she does and says around this rhetoric (no matter what her underlying motives are).

If your correspondence is ever used in court proceedings in the future, the courts and CAFCASS could likely take the view that you are not looking out for the child's interests, by carping on about your rights.... They will do you in proper (at least CAFCASS will).

If possible please keep texts to your ex to an absolute minimum.
Send written correspondence instead, and make it regulated towards the fact that it is not in the child's long term interests to be alienated from her father.

From reading on this forum, it is soooo so easy for men to get done for harassment from sending texts it's untrue....

Hello Delboy1972

With you having a case with the Child Support Agency (CSA) you would need to contact them directly to discuss any concerns you have regarding your payments, as your circumstances have changed from when they originally calculated your payments. You will find their details on any letters they have sent you or on Gov.uk at https://www.gov.uk/child-maintenance.

I have included a link on how the CSA calculated child maintenance that you may find useful, https://www.gov.uk/how-child-maintenance-is-worked-out/how-the-child-support-agency-works-out-child-maintenance.

In regards to the order you have in place for contact with your children, you may wish to seek legal advice as to where you stand with your ex-wife not sticking to this.

For more information on the different ways to set up child maintenance, you can visit the Child Maintenance Options website at http://www.cmoptions.org.

The DWP have a sorting out separation web-app that you may find useful. It offers help and support to separating and separated families. The link is: www.dad.info/divorce-and-separation/sorting-out-separation.

Regards

William

Thanks William

My trouble is that Im Dammed if I do and dammed if I dont........

I contact the CSA and straight away then More Money to my Ex Wife because I cant see my Child because shes not sending her ???

This is an unfair system that Penalises Dads like me that try to abide by the Rules and end up losing ?

If I have to pay any more Money to my Ex Wife its not worth me Working ... I already pay £400 per month.

I will have to take this to court..

Thanks

Delboy1972

Hi Jastix

Thanks for the advice,Its just so frustrating because I am Trying to be a good Dad and Teach my Daughter right from wrong .....My Ex just scores Points.... Refuses to work together for the sake of our Children .... And I might end up paying more Money to Her and More Important Being Stopped from having a Relationship with my Daughter...... She can do as she Pleases and I have to pay Emotionally and Financially !!!!!

Thanks Again

Delboy1972

Any alteration in nights your children are with you may have an impact on what you pay. I question the architect of the CSA system whereby hostile parents gain more financially with regard to CSA payments by limiting overnight staying contact, so there is absolutely no incentive for such minded individuals 'allowing' more overnight stays. Figure that out.

If you have a Court Order or agreement in writing between you and the other party you can I would think send this to the CSA as proof.

What do you aim to do with regards to the denial of staying contact, my advice is if you wish to fight this do not employ a Solicitor but funds permitting secure the services of a Direct Access Barrister.

From personal experience I would say never text, keep everything in letter or email. Telephone only in emergencies.

I feel for you, I have spent 3+ years securing a relationship with my child and can say that the system is totally and utterly stacked against you; to succeed you need to keep a level head.

Thanks MV Agusta

You have hit the Nail on the Head......If my ex Decides to not send my 2 Kids in the Future then Im Deemed as not having my Children till I prove I have Access and end up Not Seeing my Children and paying the Ex Double the Money !!!!!

Thanks for the Good advice........Im new to this site but the feeling and Stories and support People show is Fantastic ...And Makes you realise you are Not Alone ......

Delboy1972