Welcome to the DAD.Info forum: Important Information – open to read:
Our forum aims to provide support and guidance where it can, however we may not always have the answer. The forum is not moderated 24 hours a day, so If you – or someone you know – are being harmed or in immediate danger of being harmed, call the police on 999.
Alternatively, if you are in crisis, please call Samaritans on 116 123.
If you are worried about you or someone you know is at risk of harm, please click here: How we can help
Hi, new to the forum, appreciate any brief comments or experience from anyone out there.
Seperated for about a year, wife remains in the family home with two young children (im renting elsewhere). Currently (and slowly) moving through mediation, and i'm now (after finally waking up), looking to reduce my payments to her as I just cant maintain them and its just an unrealistic and unsustainable sum.
She's getting almost 45% of my net income which is a large sum, which i had agreed to pay her to keep up mortgage payments, pay bills, keep her debts paid, food on the table etc. This is just an agreement between us, nothing formalised, and i now need to reduce it.
I can work out from the CSA calculator what i should be contributing for the kids which is fine, but whats the score with any ''spousal maintenance?''
She is receiving some benefits (but not housing benefit as yet), but the mortgage is large as are her debts which we accrued together, but shes not doing everything to reduce them or get the house sold - or finding a job, even part time.
Child payments aside, what can she seek?
thanks
Darren
Hi There,
Your ex has a responsibilty to maximise her income through benifits and work ect.
The CSA calculator will work out you liability for the children but there is no system that I am aware of to work out spousal maintanence, I have only heard of this being awarded through the courts and not as a private agreement ( though it may happen)
Is your ex asking for the spousal maintenance?
It may be worth trying to agree to cover a portion of the mortgage rather than offer the maintenance option as doing it as part (or full) payment of the mortgage will firstly secure your equity in it, and will also cease when and if the house is sold.
Darren
Thanks for feedback. I was planning on moving the mortgage Direct Debit to her, but realise this might be a mistake.
She seems to assume she will get some form of spousal maintenance, based on what others may have informed her. my issue is that she finds herself in a position where she doesnt need to 'push herself' to find work or additional income, as all outgoings are covered.
Welcome to the DAD.info forum.
We don’t like to set ‘rules’, but to make sure that you and the other dads are kept safe, we have some requests. When engaging with the forum, please be aware of the following:
- The forum is not moderated 24 hours per day.
- Many of the moderators do so on a voluntary basis. Whilst they may be able to provide some guidance, advice or support, they may not be able to deal with specifics.
- We are not an emergency crisis service so if you or someone else is in immediate danger, please call emergency services.
- If you are concerned about the safety of a child, please click here to find the support you can get for them (link to new page)
- If you are in crisis, please call Samaritans on 116 123. They are open 24 hours a day, 7 days per week.
We hope you find this forum a supportive environment and thank you for joining us.