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Hi all,
I have been a single dad fir 6 years and have my son 3 nights a week. Sunday to Wed, ipay my ex for the 4 nights she has him and I also pay for all his clothes, take him to school and I'm first contact at school so I am involved in the day to day dealings of his life. I don't feel my ex should get anything because I do so much but rules are rules eh? I've gone with it and it has worked however he is now 17 and over the holidays spent a few extra days at his mums. I have him money for his "keep" for each night but she has turned around and asked for more money and has contacted the Cms. I'm ready for battle so I'm keen to know what I can do in my defence.
Hi Trinity,
Frustrating I know! You'd think we've advanced enough as a society that when the split is near 50/50 each party should just be responsible for their own time with the children.
Technically speaking, the CMS amount is what is deemed to be your full contribution for your child's upkeep - your ex shouldn't then expect you to pay for trips/clothes etc on top of that. That being said, I'm sure you won't leave your son to go without, so it does get a bit tricky.
Depending on your circumstance, your ex may be shooting herself in the foot - sometimes informal arrangements where you are happy to go above and beyond work better than statutory assessed amounts.
I'd definitely suggest going on the CMS calculator at https://www.gov.uk/calculate-child-maintenance . Work out if you are getting a good deal at present or if you may, in fact, be better off with the assessed amount.
Re: what you can do in your defence, I'd make sure where you can that you pay for things by card (so there is a paper trail) or keep your own little ledger. If anything it all, it may help to highlight to your ex that your contribution as it stands is more than fair.
Best of luck with it all anyway mate.
CD.
hi trinity,
CMS try to be helpful by offering reductions based on number of nights the kids spend with you etc. however if there is no court order stating the nights, your ex can simply tell CMS that the kids never stay overnight with you, and they will believe her!
if you have any evidence of agreed arrangements between you and your ex, keep as evidence- whatsapps, emails texts.
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