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Hi, I will try and keep this as brief as possible.
I am recently divorced, have 2 teenage daughters and a son of 10.
Maintenance was agreed between my x and I and encapsulated in a Consent Order. As we were discussing this figure I realised that my x was asking for £32 every 4 weeks less than she should so I pointed it out and corrected it....trying to be a good dad!
I have since realised I am paying over £80 too much per 4 weeks due to having my son regularly but haven't brought this up with my x through fear of her stopping me seeing my son altogether. Unfortunately my x has been using the children in this manner and has been very, very nasty.
My sons football club subs were due and the registration paperwork was sent to my x. She point blank refused to pay it and says its my responsibility as I coach at the clubs my son plays for. I have pointed out to her that the £848 I pay her per month is to cover all of the children's running costs but she still refused.
I left the house to my x for the kids sake so I am actually homeless at the moment staying at a friends house and have a spiralling solicitors bill.
I cant afford to be paying these subs etc for my x on top of the maintenance.
My x was hoping to either force me into paying his subs or to be able to tell my son that he cant play football anymore because dad wont pay....its wrong and I wasn't prepared to let that happen to my son. I even offered to pay the subs for my x and deduct the cost from her maintenance over a number of pay days....but again she refused.
The subs had to be in 3 weeks ago and I had had enough so I paid them and have deducted the £205 sub money (I have the receipts) from the last maintenance payment....she is livid and is threatening all sorts.
I am trying desperately to do the right thing for the kids but felt I had to draw a line in the sand with my x to stop this extortion tactic she has developed in which she totally disregards the children's feelings and uses them to try and emotionally blackmail money (I haven't got) out of me.
Has anyone been in a similar situation?
Hi there
I have been through about everything the people on this forum has encountered. I thought it was just my ex-wife that could so nasty but it does seems women do have this tendency. I am sorry for your situation.
If you were paying through the CMS, they would simply take a percentage from your gross income. You would not be liable for anything else. It's worth exploring this.
All the best
If the consent order is less than a year old, then the CMS can't override that for the moment. You aren't obliged to pay anything beyond what is in the consent order (if that's over a year old, then you can open a case with CMS which will override the order) as maintenance covers everything, but equally, there is nothing to force her to pay for his football training either.
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