Welcome to the DAD.Info forum: Important Information – open to read:
Our forum aims to provide support and guidance where it can, however we may not always have the answer. The forum is not moderated 24 hours a day, so If you – or someone you know – are being harmed or in immediate danger of being harmed, call the police on 999.
Alternatively, if you are in crisis, please call Samaritans on 116 123.
If you are worried about you or someone you know is at risk of harm, please click here: How we can help
Hi. It's my first post. I am going through a divorce and have been paying an agreed amount per month since they left. They contacted me after a month and said I was already in arrears as I didn't pay anything for a month when they left.(sorry thought we would get back together). I made another payment on the same day I set up payment. I based my payment on 50:50 which I think is fair.
My access has been limited as they say that a weekend ever other week and once through the week is fair. They will not let me see them any longer. They have since contacted the CMS and have had a figure given to them as to what I should pay based on this (only an enquiry. No case opened apparently I confirmed this with CMS) I have also been advised to stop paying maintenance as they have stopped paying the mortgage ( soliciting letter to mine) Money is tight now As I will not stop the maintenance payments.
My questions are.
1. Can the CMS payments be back dated to reflect my so called underpayment?
2. Do I have to pay for school trips and dinner
money's when the kids are with me?
3. Do I have to provide toys games and clothes for when the kids are with me?
Thanks
F
Hi there
If there's no case open with the CMS then there can be no back dating; only when they open a case will there be a liability to pay and only from the date that the CMS contact you to inform you that a case is open.
The amount the CMS calculate covers everything you need to pay, and any other payment towards school trips or meals is purely discretionary on your part.
When the children are with you it's usual for you to have toys and games for them at your house. Some mothers are happy to send changes of clothes and pyjamas with a child, some won't and there's nothing to say that they have to. When this has been a problem for other members here, they buy them clothes and nightwear which they keep with them, changing the children back into the clothes they came in when returning them.
Hello Fishead1
All parents have a responsibility to provide regular and reliable financial support for their children, which you are already doing by providing child maintenance.
As Mojo mentioned, you would only be responsible for making child maintenance payments via the Child Maintenance Service, if an arrangement was put in place with their service. If this was the case in the future, your responsibility to pay will start from around the point you contact the Child Maintenance Service or they contact you.
According to Government guidelines, you would be legally responsible for the amount worked out by the Child Maintenance Service, and you are not obliged to pay for anything extra.
For more information on the different ways to set up child maintenance and for a more personalised service, you can visit the Child Maintenance Options website at http://www.cmoptions.org.
The DWP have a sorting out separation website that you may find useful. It offers help and support to separating and separated families. The link is: https://www.sortingoutseparation.org.uk/.
Regards
William
HI There,
.
I mirror what has been said above, if the case hasn't been opened yet then you should stick to what ever private agreement you had, when the case gets opened with CMS they will contact you and they would then back date to the date that they did, they can not go further back.
.
If you ex has stopped payng the mortgage, what is happening to it, are these payments being covered? who is living in the house you or her?
.
Again as has been said, you would need some toys and possibly some clothes for your children for when they come to you.
.
GTTS
Welcome to the DAD.info forum.
We don’t like to set ‘rules’, but to make sure that you and the other dads are kept safe, we have some requests. When engaging with the forum, please be aware of the following:
- The forum is not moderated 24 hours per day.
- Many of the moderators do so on a voluntary basis. Whilst they may be able to provide some guidance, advice or support, they may not be able to deal with specifics.
- We are not an emergency crisis service so if you or someone else is in immediate danger, please call emergency services.
- If you are concerned about the safety of a child, please click here to find the support you can get for them (link to new page)
- If you are in crisis, please call Samaritans on 116 123. They are open 24 hours a day, 7 days per week.
We hope you find this forum a supportive environment and thank you for joining us.