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Hej all,
I got divorced a few years ago now. I gave my ex the house and signed a court paper (drafted by her lawyer) that said I would pay £750 a month in maintenance for my 2 children, until the youngest turns 18 (iirc) or finishes tertiary education. My children are now 16 and 13.
My 16 year old has been having increasing issues with my ex, which came to a head this weekend when he attempted to take an overdose and was admitted to hospital. He's totally fine, but because he has said that if he has to go back to my ex, he will do it again, he's not being discharched and I assume he will end up placed somewhere??
I live in Sweden now, still have a UK passport but have full residence permit here in Sweden. I have said my son can live with me, but he doesn't want to leave his friends and I doubt he could be made to come here.
My ex has said he needs to pack his bags and she is done with him, she hasn't even messaged him while he's been in hospital (ambulance took him).
So my question(s):
If my son doesn't go home, do I still need to pay 50% maintenance to my ex? I kinda want to stop paying her and just pay him the money instead
If he comes to live with me, can I just pay 50% as I'll be taking on his care
Can she do anything to me to make me pay if I am able to do the above, bearing in mind I live in Sweden now.
Thankyou for reading!
hi,
as there has been a big change in circumstances, if you were still in UK, formal process would be to have that court order changed. do you still keep in contact with son? very tough situation. under UK child support laws, if he were taken into foster care, then generally you would not be paying maintenance, as local authority becomes responsible for child. are you able to pay child directly?
also to note, with UK child support, the main carer of child does not pay maintenance to non- resident parent.
Thankyou both for the replies!
Ok so, even though my relationship with my son has been strained of late also, I have been in constant contact with him these past few days, he has listed me as his parent/contact and I have messaged the social worker who was recently assigned to this general situation (something else that happened a few weeks ago).
I checked the documents from the divorce and my ex has a consent order which states 2 things:
That I pay nominal spousal maintenance of £1 per year until my youngest is 18
I pay £750 a month child maintenance until my youngest is 18 or finishes tertiary education
It also states that if a CMS application is made and the sum is less than £750, that the nominal maintenance instantly comes into play and makes up the different.
What I really need to understand is, if my son lives with me, on goes into foster care...basically he is no longer at the home of my ex, do I have a case to stop 50% of the payment to my ex and I can pay it to him (if he isn't living with me). Will the fact I am in Sweden protect me from any legal [censored] she would instantly try to pull as her hatred for me only seems to have intensified since the divorce 🙁
@blindsided you may want to seek legal advice there, as in can the UK order be enforced in Sweden.
A little update for you....
So my ex has checked out now it seems, no interest any more with my son. He is still staying at the hospital and will tonight go to stay with a friend's family.
After speaking to social services in the UK today (they are involved and assisting with all this), they have agreed that my son should live with me in Sweden. So from next week, it looks like that is the plan. Luckily there is nothing legal in place relating to the children, so my ex cannot get in the way.
Bearing this in mind, once I have my son here and he is safe. I will look to advise my ex that I will no longer be paying the child support from the 2019 consent order (the whole point of this question/thread). Unless someone has some pearls of wisdom on how that might play out, I will probably seek some legal advice to be sure there are no comebacks.
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