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Hi, I am new to this forum and have joined to ask a question about child maintenance negotiations with my ex-partner :-
We have two children, a son aged 14 and a daughter aged 12. Our son continues to live alternate weeks at my house and his Mum’s house whilst our daughter has decided to live with her Mum. I have submitted a claim for Child Benefit in respect of our son, which if approved will mean that both myself and my ex-partner each receive Child Benefit for one child.
We are trying to reach a family-based agreement on child maintenance to be paid by myself to my ex-partner in respect of our daughter (we currently share all actual costs in respect of our son and because he spends equal time with Mum and Dad, domestic expenses are deemed to cancel each other out).
I have offered to pay 50% of all actual expenses incurred in respect of our daughter. Now for things like clothes, school lunches etc and any such individual expense this is easy to quantify, however the one area where it is difficult to establish such expense is my ex-partner’s domestic bills which are higher as a result of having our daughter live with her permanently - i.e. groceries, utilities etc.
In this regard I have offered that we treat the Child Benefit my ex-partner gets paid as funding for such expenses (I.e. £20.70 / week), and the remaining Child Benefit that I would get to be shared between us.
Now of course £20.70 is not a lot, but I stress that we are only talking about funding for my ex-partner’s domestic expenses attributed to our daughter - EVERYTHING else I would pay 50% of including school lunches, school trips, clothes etc. - anything that can be directly attributed as an expense in respect of our daughter.
My ex-partner has dismissed this offer as not even serious and has said that unless I come up with a serious offer in a week she will ask the Child Maintenance group to calculate Child Maintenance and even ask them to collect it directly if required.
I actually think my offer is a good one as
a) It directly aligns my payments as close as possible to actual expenditure
b) It might be that the Child Maintenance calculation is less generous to my ex-partner than my own offer
Anyway, what would others think is a reasonable amount to pay just in respect of increased domestic bills for one child ?
For me, it is not really about money, but behind my offer is my wish to play as equal a role as possible as parent even though my daughter does not live with me, I.e. to have equal liability and equal decision making in respect of financial matters.
Any comments gratefully received.
Hi,
Unfortunately, it's not a matter of what we consider to be fair, but what your ex will accept. If she applies to CMS, she cannot ask them to collect it directly (for which there is a fee) - that option is only used if you are refusing to pay.
I would look at the calculator, to see what their figure would be, and then come up with something between what you have suggested, and what their figure is - hopefully that would be more acceptable to her, and you are still better off. It's not necessarily fair, but it's better than CMS enforcing the full amount.
Thanks.
Though would any enforced amount assume that no other financial support at all is given, and would it be common for the paying parent to not contribute anything for literally anything else ? Eg. we are currently paying over £2k for our son’s school trip to South Africa next year, and our daughter may have such expensive events also.
Or, if I and my ex-partner were happy to continue sharing actual costs, would the calculation take account of this and end up just calculating what I should pay her for her increased domestic bills ?
Even if it was more expensive for me I would naturally prefer to pay half of actual costs as it means I am more involved in my daughter’s life.
Here's link to the calculator
www.gov.uk/calculate-your-child-maintenance
Personally... maintenance doesn't just cover a child's personal expenses, it's a contribution to the total cost of looking after a child, putting a roof over their head, keeping them warm and fed etc.
Once the CMS have made a calculation based on your gross income (approx. 12% for one child) that amount is all you would be expected to pay and any extra payments for school trips etc would be purely discretionary.
It might be that once she sees actual amounts, she might be more amenable to making a private arrangement.
Hello Will99
Many parents are now choosing to sort out their maintenance between themselves as it can be the quickest and easiest way of setting up a maintenance agreement. Although family-based arrangements are not legally binding, they are very flexible and can be easily changed.
When you are calculating a family-based arrangement you do not have any strict rules to adhere too. Negotiation can play a large part of your agreement, however, child maintenance is calculated using the gross income of the paying parent minus any pension contributions.
As your daughter has decided to live with her mum full-time, you do have a child maintenance requirement for her and Child Maintenance Options have an Online Calculator that can help you calculate an amount. The figure you receive is an estimate and is also an amount that the Government consider to be reasonable. You can find this on their website at http://www.cmoptions.org along with other supporting tools that can help you negotiate with your children's mum.
Their Talking About Money Guide and Discussion Guide are full of information about how you can plan your conversation together and how to negotiate your agreement. They also point out the financial costs involved in raising a child and can give you both new ideas about what can be included in your agreement.
Once you have decided what you would like to include in your agreement you can record this on their Family-based Arrangement Form. Although it is not a legally binding document it can put your agreement on a more formal basis. You can also agree a renewal date for your agreement in case either of you have a change in circumstances in the future.
You may also be interested to know the Department for Work and Pensions (DWP) have a website, 'Sorting out Separation'. It aims to make it much easier for separating and separated parents (and childless couples) to find the support they need, when and where they need it, and encourages them to collaborate on a range of issues. The link is http://www.sortingoutseparation.org.uk/
For more information and for a more personalised service, you may wish to visit the Child Maintenance Options website yourself.
Regards
William
Thanks indeed for the advice, I shall look at the supporting material you have mentioned.
Thanks again.
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