[Solved] Maintenance order change possible

Hi there

Good news... Once a court order for child support has been in place for over 12 months, either parent can open a claim with the CMS. Here’s a link to the child maintenance calculator, which will give you some idea of what you could pay

www.gov.uk/calculate-your-child-maintenance

However if you have the children more, have you not thought of making it official, you would be entitled to the child benefit and shouldn’t have to pay any child maintenance.

I understand that you want to support your children, but paying the right amount means that you would have more to spend on a better quality of life for you all.

All the best

thank you very much for your kind advise,, i think i will have to make official as i bet she will magically want to see the kids more when realises it effects her financial,, ,but as you say least this way i can pay for clubs etc with the money so they utilize it

If you wanted to go down the official route, that would entail attempting mediation as a first step and then court for an order to state that the children either live with you, or they live with both of you and care is shared equally. Court is usually a last resort and it might be something to consider if she started to reduce your time with your children.

It might happen that when your ex finds out you’ve gone through the CMS she may try and reduce the overnight stays that your kids spend with you, to increase the amount she would get... perhaps I’m not being fair to her!

If you didn’t want to rock the boat too much, you could suggest to her that you claim child benefit for one child each, that way you are on a more equal footing.

Best of luck

Guys

My story in short from start to finish.

Married for 13yrs together for 18yrs
she dropped the bomb 2yrs ago and we separated.
She wouldn't talk to me about the finances. everything was in her name apart from the joint account & mortgage so had no choice but to go to mediation, which made her really angry.
met with a solicitor while she was away with the kids and he told me not to leave the house and walk away.
my ex wife is a Narcissist, which I quickly discovered after we split and it all became clear.
She wanted the lions share. House, car, maintenance, and to bleed me dry and leave me with nothing.
Before we started mediation I had done my homework, despite her best attempts to fox me, I have my kids boy/girl 50/50 EQUAL shared care.
She wanted over £300 a month for maintenance which I DO NOT pay anything because a have Equal shared care.
I spoke to the CMS dept. 3 times and the same reply everytime, If you have your children on an EQUAL shared care basis then there is no primary carer of the children. So no paying or receiving parent.
I also applied to the child benefit office for one of my children as it's only right if I have them EQUAL 50/50 in my eyes its only fair.
They awarded me the C.B for my youngest child despite the kicking off with my ex wife.
You see, in the beginning they will promise you everything and to be amicable to suit what they are really after. All they are doing is getting everything into place to destroy you and leave you with nothing.
The family house got sold 50/50
4 credit cards in her name debt of 38k!!!! Gobbsmacked is not the word, I didn't know but that got paid off out of the equity of the house.
Her store cards which she tried to make me pay for half but I refused.

I all of the craziness that surrounds splits/divorce, the one thing you have to do is stay strong and do your homework. Don't listen to your so to be EX.

I pay for my kids when they are with me
I pay 50/50 for my kids when they are at school ( that's the only time I have to involve my EX and I keep it strict and down the middle )
I keep every receipt on anything a buy them and put in a box to keep just in case she try's to say I never buy anything for them.

I keep reading about guys who are in my situation who have their children the same as me and it kills me to hear that they do pay for everything because they have been manipulated by their EX by normally using the kids as pawns.

If you have your child s 50/50 even if your EX disapproves apply for C.B
If you have your child s 50/50 Equal shared care you need to ring the CMS because the online calculator cannot factor in Equal shared care.

It has been an absolute struggle for me this last two years but I have my own house now with a mortgage and the kids are settled now and that's all I wanted for them to be happy again.

Stick to your guns guys and if this helps just one other guy then this has been worth writing.

Good luck guys!!!!

Great story and well done for your grit and perseverance! I’m going to add a link to your post on our Success Stories thread, it’s really encouraging for other members going through it.

I will say though that the CMS are far from consistent in dealing with equal shared care/no maintenance cases. It’s not cut and dried for some members, who are continuously refused recognition of their shared care arrangement and have to pay maintenance regardless... we always urge members to keep fighting though, and stories like yours will spur them on I’m sure.

All the best