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Hi,
I was wondering if anyone had any advice on an issue I'm currently going through. Me and my ex have now split and have an 18 month son together. She has said to me because of his age she will only allow access of 2 times a month sleep over. Now I'm not happy with this arrangement and I'm currently seeking information as to wether this is true or not. Can she dictate this? Her angle in the argument is the age of my son, I genuinely don't think that she can do this but I'm unsure. I belive she has said this so the less time I have with my son, the more money she will get via maintenance, she seems to want the money as apposed my son having a relationship with me. I have PR as I'm named on the birth certificate so I think that she cannot dictate this, any help and advice would be truly greatful.
Thanks
Danny
In simple terms you can both dictate what ever you want - there is no law that covers this - unless you request the law decides.
You either agree between yourselves.
Or agree between yourselves at mediation.
Or agree between yourselves in court.
Or allow the court to decide for you.
However there is no law or anything else that says she "can't say max 2 nights sleep over a month" - exactly the same way there is no law that stops a dad saying "I don't want them sleeping over any nights".
In court they ( in theory ) start from a 50/50 shared care basis - however you have to consider the practicalities of that for yourself AND that to get to that point you might need to go to court - which gets expensive quick.
You could try with a family solicitor now to write letters, help you communicate and advise you what is "reasonable" in legal terms - it will still cost but not as much as full court.
Unfortunately, without a court order for contact in place she can do more or less as she likes. I would suggest mediation to try and get some agreement about a regular schedule, one that increases as he gets older perhaps...but I do agree that 2 nights a month isn't enough, even at 18 months. The fact is that if shes ok to let overnights commence, then a court wouldn't limit that to 2 a month either,
Mediation would be your first step and is a requirement before a court application for a Child Arrangements Order can be made.
Best of luck
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