[Solved] living with daughter and being forced to pay maintence,

hi,

for 6 years you were being made to pay maintenance. and you could not notice or stop this at all during those years?

if your court order mentions contact arrangements of every other weekend etc, then CMS will just run with that. other options you can do to reduce payments is paying into a pension. not sure what your future plans are but at some point she will leave with your child? then you will have to carry on paying child maintenance anyway.

have a look at this, info for claiming special expenses/variations, you may be able to get assistance due to mortgage payments:

https://www.citizensadvice.org.uk/family/children-and-young-people/child-maintenance/child-maintenance-2012-scheme/child-maintenance-reviews-and-appeals/the-2012-child-maintenance-scheme-what-to-think-about-before-you-apply-for-a-variation/

Hi,

no for 6 years she was claiming child support without my knowledge, HMRC started chasing for it at the end of last year and are forcefully taking £500 a month from my salary via tax.

We have mediation booked in two weeks time, but I some how need to get a fairer child arrangement in writing.

I have the variation forms at no point does it mention these:
certain loans, debts and fees
certain financial expenses, such as mortgage and insurance payments.

I clearly need to factor these in.

M

Mediation on finances was a total waste of time and she walked out as soon as child arrangements were mentioned.

Cms are demanding I pay £500 a month so we have now defaulted on the mortgage . I live with my daughter and there is a none molestation order in place she is telling cms I don’t ever have my daughter but just because I work full time and she does not I am being victimised.

She is lying and I have no clue what I am meant to do cms are refusing to see my side of this.

She has also applied to court to try and get a better equity split as well as her initial deposit back.

I am falling apart here

Marcus

Mediation on finances was a total waste of time and she walked out as soon as child arrangements were mentioned.

Cms are demanding I pay £500 a month so we have now defaulted on the mortgage . I live with my daughter and there is a none molestation order in place she is telling cms I don’t ever have my daughter but just because I work full time and she does not I am being victimised.

She is lying and I have no clue what I am meant to do cms are refusing to see my side of this.

She has also applied to court to try and get a better equity split as well as her initial deposit back.

I am falling apart here

Marcus

Hi,

She is the applicant and presumably the person who receives child benefit, and in the absence of evidence otherwise they will likely take your ex's word on everything as the assumed resident parent. The CMS are an incompetent shambles of an organisation.

Presumably you are living separately within the same household, I.e. you are cooking separately, living in separate rooms etc? If so it may be that her claim is valid despite being in the same house, but you can always ask for a mandatory reconsideration if you disagree, and if that fails appeal to a tribunal. You should keep paying maintenance in the interim however as a priority. You should state clearly in writing what your role is in day to day care, I.e. school drop offs, meal times, bedtimes, welfare such as doctors/dentists etc.

I dont really understand how your ex put in a child maintenance demand 6 years ago if you are still living in the same house, how long have you been separated for?

Needless to say you should get finances and child arrangements sorted asap to move on - it's good she is seeking remedy via court for finances as it moves it forward, has she suggested anything at all regarding long-term child arrangements, what is your opinion on what time your daughter should spend with you?

Divorce is expensive and both you and your ex will be financially squeezed by it, not least because you will have to run 2 households. Try to prioritise... for finances for example you can self-represent at court to save costs, I wouldn't bother with a solicitor and would just get a direct access barrister if necessary.

Thanks for the reply,

Child maintenance and child support are two different things.

I’ve asked for a mandatory consideration and a variation both totally ignored.

I’ve now requested another mediation and if she refuses I will try going straight to court sighting historic violence.

Marcus

The CMS cannot "totally ignore" a mandatory reconsideration if you ask for one.

I'm not sure why you would go to court citing "historic violence" - much better to try to reach an amicable arrangement.

They haven’t ignored they saying they have done it and they won’t make changes.

There has been a history of violence and there is a non mol in place it is impossible to be in the same room and there is no talking to her.

The court application says you can skip miam if there has been violence ?

If there is a Non-Molestation Order in place yes you can skip mediation.

However there is a thing called shuttle mediation where the mediator goes between rooms. You don't meet or see your ex at all during the session though you will need to confirm the mediator has separate waiting rooms for you.

Also you should mediate on child arrangements separately using a different mediator. That way neither of you have to deal with the mediator's bias.