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Legally proving nig...
 
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[Solved] Legally proving nights spent with Dad

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Posts: 8
Registered
Topic starter
(@BananaDad)
Active Member
Joined: 6 years ago

Good afternoon All,

Me and my ex have 2 daughters (7 and 5 now) and have been seperated from my ex for 3 years now .
The girls have spent on average with me over the 3 year period 3.07 nights per week.
Have been paying maintenance in line with recommendation from the calculator on gov website ... .all good!

I now have a 3rd daughter from my 'new' relationship and salary has changed slightly due to job move.

Obviously maintenance payments have adjusted due to new situation and I'm again paying in line with calculator.
My Ex isnt happy with the reduction in payments so has opened a case with CSM.
However the Ex has told the CSM that our daughters spend 0-1 nights per week with me.

The CSM have informed me that when there is a disagreement on this figure, they have to default to 52 nights per year until i can leagally prove otherwise the greater amount.

How do I do that? Other than trying to get retrospective court order or somehting in place?

Any help or info form you guys would be greatly appreciated.

15 Replies
Posts: 118
Registered
(@Yoda94)
Estimable Member
Joined: 8 years ago

You will probably find that the only evidence they will accept is a court order. This will cost a fortune to get through, so maybe it is more cost effective to just go with the facts that they spend less than 52 nights a week with you and pay on that basis.

If you fight what you will probably find is that your ex partner will stop your kids staying with you to get more money. This isn't ideal as you will miss out on time with the kids.

Although it is totally wrong and unfair, sometime it is best to swallow a bit of extra expense so you can do what is most important, and that is spending the time with your kids.

Is there any way that you can increase your pension contributions so that you are above the 25% threshold?

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Posts: 5387
(@dadmod2)
Illustrious Member
Joined: 6 years ago

hi Banana,

Yoda made some good points. i think you should fight for what is right. you have another child from a new relationship, thus more expenses. its unfair on you. but it all depends on your financial situation. i can't put a price on my kids. i spent £4,000 to go through court. it can definitely be done for less than this. was not that painful. lasted from end of january to mid-may. I will probably do that again in a few years time if i want more time with my kids. money comes and goes so am not too bothered.

**I'd like to add that i didnt go to court because of CMS. it was because ex denying any overnight contact with my kids.

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Posts: 2831
 Yoda
(@yoda)
Famed Member
Joined: 10 years ago

If contact is going well and this is the only issue, perhaps try to sit down and have a chat with your ex to get this sorted?

Is it a significant decrease in payments? Is there a compromise to be had?

It sounds like contact has been going well until now? Why let things spiral?

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Posts: 5387
(@dadmod2)
Illustrious Member
Joined: 6 years ago

banana,

use this CMS calculator to work out how much you should be paying, taking into account all the nights you spend with your child. then compare that to what you are paying at the moment.

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