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hi i have three grown up kids 2 of 18 and 1 of 16 i have an private agrement with my ex that the kids stay over every other weekend,it has been approved by a judge in our divorce and have been paying for 8 years,now the 18 year olds say they are to old to come round and the 16 year old does not want to stay at mine on his own. my ex is asking for more money or she will go to the csa,but i cannot make my kids come to me and i cannot afford any more money. can anyone give me advise :unsure:
hi there,
are the 2 18 yr olds in college?
If they aren't they you are no longer liable for payments towards them only the 16 year old.
it would be very difficult to enforce your children come and stay with you at that age, as I'm sure you have found.
I'm guessing your ex won't back down on the payments?
also have you checked what you pay against the online csa calculator to see if what you pay is inline with what they would order?
you may find you actually over pay.
GTTS
Dear Corndad
Thank you for your post, I am William the Child Maintenance Options consultant. I understand that you have three children and they have said that they are too old to stay overnight with you. You have told me that your ex-partner is asking for more money as your children do not stay overnight any longer.
With you having a family-based arrangement in place you may wish to try to discuss and negotiate with your ex-partner the maintenance you pay. With a family-based arrangement there are no strict rules or formulas to follow, they are flexible to suit the needs of both parents and their children. Family-based arrangements are not legally binding and there is no one to enforce payments if they are missed. If one parent breaks the agreement, you should try to talk to them as soon as possible to sort out any problems.
If either parent has a change in circumstances, negotiation also plays a big part in ensuring that payments continue. If you or your ex-partner's or children's circumstances change over time, remember to review together and update your arrangement. If you feel that mediation may help, there are organisations who are experts in that area. Centre for Separated Families provides advice and support to parents and other people experiencing family separation. Please find their website details below:
Website: www.separatedfamilies.info
If you would like an idea how much child maintenance you may be asked to pay if an application were made via the Child Support Agency (CSA), you can use our online calculator. This is on our website at www.cmoptions.org/en/calculator. You could use this figure as a starting point for discussions to help maintain your family-based arrangement.
Child maintenance is payable when the receiving parent is still in receipt of Child Benefit payments and the child is aged under 16, or under 20 and in full-time non-advanced education. When a child leaves full-time education in the summer, Child Benefit generally continues until the first week of September. For child maintenance purposes a child is anyone under 16, or someone between 16 and 20 who is not, or has ever been, married or in a civil partnership. Also, anyone aged 16 or 17 who is not in education, is not working and does not receive employment related benefits, is also defined as a child.
You mentioned that your children were to stay overnight every other weekend and this was approved by a judge in your divorce. If you have any concerns regarding the overnight stays, you may wish to seek legal advice. Community Legal Advice is a Government-funded confidential legal service offering free advice to those eligible for Legal Aid in England and Wales.
Website: www.direct.gov/legaladvice.
The CSA works out child maintenance payments using a set formula, which is based on the income of the non-resident parent. Other factors are taken into account that may reduce the amount of maintenance payable they are:
• the number of children that child maintenance will be paid for
• the number of nights a year, on average, the paying parent has care of the child(ren)
• the number of other children the paying parent supports
• if the paying parent receives benefits
For more information about family-based arrangements and access to useful tools and forms online you can visit http://www.cmoptions.org, or if you would prefer a confidential chat you could call the Child Maintenance Options team on 0800 988 0988 (free from a landline).
There is a new sorting out separation web-app, which aims to make it much easier for separated parents to find the support they need, when and where they need it, and encourages parents to collaborate on a range of issues. The link is http://www.dad.info/divorce-and-separation/sorting-out-separation.
William
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