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I previously submitted a post regarding when i had my daughter full time and ex was only paying £7 child maintenance. So end of August Im making tea for my daughter and i and i get an email from ex to say that she had now taken daughter from school and she would be living with her from now on. Couldnt believe it. I have managed to see my daughter regularly over night since this happened but its been a bit of an emotional roller coaster.
Today i get a letter from hmrc to say that ex has put in a claim for the child benefit. She had not even seen her for ten months prior! I paid for everything out of my wage and more, and now im facing have to appeal this, and if i lose i assume maintenance claim coming next. None of this is my doing, im just wanting to see my daughter, i have been the best dad i can be having her at least half the week for last ten years, work and im now facing more financial hardship. Im going to speak to my daughter about this (14), but should i mention what is going on to her, as i will have to stop all payments for clubs etc if i do have to pay maintenance, or should i gently encourage her to come back for half the week? Any advice on all this gratefully appreciated. Ive had ten years of [censored] to be honest, not sure i can take much more.
Hi,
Sorry to hear what your going through. I think you should try encourage your child to keep seeing you with original arrangement. You may want to formalize arrangements with a court order if you think that is needed.
This sounds really tough on you and I'm sorry. Is your daughter happy with the new arrangement? She's old enough to make her own decisions and if you go to court they will take her wishes into account. If you pay maintenance that will cover clubs etc although it appears likely ex won't cough up for them. Hopefully you can both manage to deal with this without putting emotional stress on your daughter. She doesn't need to feel caught up in the middle.
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