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Hi
Im posting here on behalf of my husband hoping for advice.
He has 2 boys 13 and 15 and communication has ceased between us and their mum since we found out not only was she taking credit cards out in his name but also paying them to steal phones/gadgets/electronics etc from us (all of which has been reported to the police and arrests were made and charges brought upon them) She is now doing stupid things like trying to hack into our accounts and having takeaways delivered to our house at all hours of the night.
My husband has always paid his way, the boys used to stop over (obviously they don’t now) they have ISAs with £7k in each ready for when they’re 18, he’s a brilliant dad to my 2 girls and our baby boy too. He has not worked since 2021 as he sadly has cancer but we have still been paying roughly £100 a month out in phone bills for them, school trips meals and uniform etc, plus travelling to see them and take them out when he can.
His ex isn’t happy with this and has decided to get his parent pay account deactivated with the school so we can’t pay for anything any more and has taken him to CMS. Obviously the payment is going to be £7 p/w as we’re on benefits.
He has contacted her and said that we really dont need the stress of their involvement (I’ve had a horrendous experience with them trying to track my ex down who now owes approx £9k) and he would be happy to pay her £100 directly and still pay their phone bills at a cost of £25 a month so we know they’re not going without. She has stated this is not enough so we have told her we will simply pay the £30 per month and nothing more which she didn’t like as she seems to think phones are his responsibility, ironic since they stole 2 iPhones from us last year 🙄
How can we see her make sense? Can the CMS step in at all since she’s clearly lied to them and told them we haven’t paid a penny when we’ve got all the receipts to prove it?
Were at our wits end, despite everything her and those boys have done to us he just wants to support them the best he can but it’s like pulling teeth trying to get her to see how stupid she’s being.
Any advice appreciated!
hi,
as his ex has opened a case with CMS, I suggest he should avoid talking to his ex about money now that CMS has taken over. if she tells CMS that he has not paid anything in past, they will not make him make back-dated payments. the payments are only effective from the date the case is opened.
your partner can still spend on the kids while they are in his care, or he goes to see them. hopefully any money disputes will now die down.
Thanks Bill. He was supposed to take them out today since they’re off school but they’re ignoring his messages and calls do I’m guessing she’s going to put a stop to him seeing them completely. Saves us a few quid I guess.
thanks
@bill337 hi yes we’ve always paid their phone bills and brought them new phones when needed so we can keep in touch and they usually text a few times a week. Whenever they need new uniform or anything like that they will ask us themselves. I think she’s taken their SIM cards off them as messages still haven’t been opened.
Hi @bill337 just wanted to update you, she received her letter this morning stating she was due £30 a month by April 7th and subsequently spent the entire day calling my husband wanting to sort money out. She has agreed to close the case now, realising that all she needed to do if she wanted cash rather than us to pay school expenses was to be an adult and speak to us about it. They’ve reached an agreement that suits all of us thankfully, and as if by magic she’s given the boys their SIM cards back now that we’ve agreed to continue paying their bills. Good defeats evil once again 🙄😅
Thanks again and the best of luck to any dads dealing with the CMS and a nightmare ex.
Make sure you get written confirmation from CMS to say the case is closed.
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