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During lockdown, in 2020, my ex illegally left the UK and moved to Barbados. She left our 15 year old son, and 2 older sons (19 and 20 at the time). When we divorced years ago she was designated the primary carer and I have been making Child Maintenance Payments for all 3 boys for years.
When she left initially, she coerced our youngest son to go and live with friends of hers, unbeknownst to me and without my agreement. She did this so that she could still carry on getting Child Maintenance payments from me, evening though she was lying on a beach. She also purposefully tried to alienate my son from me. Eventually, that arrangement didn't work, as despite my ex-wife's efforts, my son wanted a relationship with his dad. In the last 2 years, my son has been living with me and I have been looking after his daily needs and significant medical needs since he has serious kidney condition that needs constant care.
My ex has been living in Barbados since 2020. She does not provide a home for the children, nor does she look after any of their daily needs. That is is down to me. However, she is still claiming Child Maintenance Payments from me for doing nothing. I am doing all of the parenting. I reported her for fraud to the CMS 2 years ago. I was told that they would investigate and come back to me. They never came back to me and when i chased this up, they told me that they did investigate, and that they spoke with my ex-wife who simply lied and told them that she was away on holiday and would be back soon.
At the time, I stopped making payments to her as I was looking after all our children, and trying to work and provide for them. She, however, is a wealthy woman, who abdicated her parental responsibilities, and during lockdown, left her sick teenage son to go and live on an island, whilst still demanding that I pay for that.
I told that she was lying and gave them multiple ways to be able to prove the truth of the matter (speak to my son's school, healthcare team, go to passport control and check her passport, etc.), however the CMS refused.
I've applied for a Mandatory Reconsideration, I've gone to my MP who is a Tory frontbencher (and it will probably not surprise you that he couldn't care less and gave me the run around), and I'm now facing a tribunal.
My ex-wife is a wealthy woman who abandoned her children during lockdown. She is defrauding the system for money and the system is allowing her to do so. I have a small business and have been hit badly by the cost of living crisis, and am trying to look after all our sons. I don't have money to pay for legal advice and go through the family courts and social services. Dealing with all of the above has had a significant negative impact on my business, along with my physical and mental health. My sons don't even speak with their mother anymore because they are so angry and hurt by her negligent and fraudulent behaviour.
I'd appreciate any advice on the above.
hi,
are any child benefit cases still active? if so I suggest you apply to have them transferred over to you. CMS use child benefit holder to decide who is primary carer. you can contact HMRC, they may ask for evidence that your primary carer
https://www.gov.uk/child-benefit/make-a-change-to-your-claim
also what is the education status of the kids? child maintenance stops when kids leave/finish full-time education, and/or they start a uni course.
@bill337 I have already applied for a reconsideration of Child Benefit. We are currently waiting for this. On speaking to them most recently, it takes thems approx 3 months to make a decision. In the meantime my ex-wife has been trying to challenge this whilst lying and abusing the system. My youngest was 15 when this all started and he's now 18. He'll be finished school in June and my payments are supposed to stop in Sept 2024. However, the CMS are claiming that payments have been missed and (false) arrears built-up whilst I've been fighting this for almost 4 years. My hope is that the Child Benefit will find in my favour and that I can back date claims against her, although I'm not sure if I can.
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