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Hi I'm in need of some advice. As a result of a one night stand stupid I know but its done I was told by the woman in question that she was pregnant. I had brief moments of contact with her through txt messaged while she was pregnant but I didn't get attached due to the uncertainty I was the father. She recently gave birth to a boy and contacted me she sent a pic told me the boy looked like me. I told her I would like to arrange access to see the wee one. She told me that the only access I would get is visiting at her house no visits to my house would be allowed. I told her I wasn't happy with that and as well as wanting a DNA test which I informed her I was going to pay for I would be wanting weekends at my house if the baby was mine. She went quiet and when I pushed a bit more for an answer she told me that there would be no access no DNA I wasn't on the birth certificate. At this point I asked her to be reasonable and informed her there was the option of going through the court which I didn't want to do she blocked all communication with me and threatened to report me to the police for harassment. Can anyone advise me how easy it is to get a court order for a DNA test and how easy it is to get access arragned my concern is that if I did get access she messes me around and I end up back and forth in court is this a likely outcome.
Thanks
Hi There,
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I'm not too sure about how easy it would be to get a DNA test ordered by the court, I don't have any experience of this, what I would say though is for the moment, stop all contact with this girl If you need to make contact then do it through a solicitor if she goes to the police and reports you it will make things harder in the future.
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It's a joke really as if this is your child and she has told you it is, then you should be able to contact her without the threat of the police.
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I would make an appointment with a solicitor just to get some answers to your questions, you need one that deals with family law rather than a general solicitor, many offer a free 30 min session so you would get chance to ask some questions.
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When and if it comes to court, you would first need to try and attend mediation before applying, as the courts won't hear cases unless you have at least tried mediation, if she won't attend or you can't resolve anything the mediator will give you a form to send with the court application.
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I think at the earlier stages on contact with your son, if you ask for weekends you are likely not to get them, at a young age babies need mum more, so if and when you attend mediation or court look at a plan that starts off with shorter visits, maybe the first few with mum either at her home or a soft play somewhere, and then build from there.
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GTTS
Try mediation first as it's mandatory to attempt this process before making an application to court;
If mediation doesn't work, you can then apply to the court for contact and the court can order a DNA test if necessary.
In terms of contact going forward, you would really need to consider visiting at the mother's home until the baby is ready to be away from the mother for periods of time, especially if she is breastfeeding. If you can talk to each other and work out a sensible progression, there's no reason why you shouldn't see your son at your own home overtime and work towards a suitable schedule for your son.
Good luck
As a matter of interest, are you based in Scotland?
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