[Solved] hello.... what a mess i am in

do you ever have one of them days when you just want to give up and just put an end to it all. yeh i think about it but i wont no matter what kind of mess i am in now i feel it cant get any worse but i no deep down it will. i will try and put you in my shoes it wont be the whole picture but it will give you some idea of my situation. my daughter now is 16 i seperated from her mother when she was 18 month old. i spent the next 2 years going to court to gain access.after 2years of courts and contact centres i got to take her home and what i thought would be the start of me having a proper relationship with my daughter, but her mother would allways try to make it as difficult as possable.i would arrange to pick her up on a saturday but her mother would tell her it was a friday so she would wait for me to turn up when i didnt she felt let down an mum would take advantage of this to turn the child against me. this whent on for years as well as feeding her with sugary drinks and sweets before she came to my house to make her hyper. around the time my daughter was 10 i lost my job, i couldnt buy her things like i used to which again mum took advantage of to say how bad a dad i was. i later started work again but instead of paying the csa it was agreed that for her 11th birthday i would buy her a horse and pay for everything assocated with the horse.i could at this point make a list but anyone who has kept or has a horse knows what a long list of things that would be.i did this up to a couple months ago when me an her mum fell out again. next thing i new i was getting letters from the csa telling me that they are going to start taking payments out of my wages. which they did at a rate of £658.00 a month because my income was only £850.00 amonth i had to tell my daughter that i couldnt afford to pay for the horse any more which upset her an we had a falling out as she would have to give up the horse.ive tryed to get the payments reduced but had no luck.so to try and prevent myself from being jobless and homeless and falling deeper into dept ive cut the hrs i work and signed on to unemployment benefit so i can get my rent an poll tax payed, i am now sat at home with not enough money to have the heating on or enough food to last a month.yes it dose depress me and allso anoy me but i no there are people out there who are in alot worse situations than myself there is help out there somewere finding it is hard but dont stop looking i no i wont ive been through to much over the years to give up now..