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From Father to Sper...
 
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From Father to Sperm Donor

 
(@1977dad)
New Member Registered

New member with a bit of a Child Maintenance issue.

I split up with my ex 14 years ago. In 2012 I gained full custody of my 2 daughters, as she left to go to Cardiff. I have brought up my 2 daughters  since primary school for my eldest and nursery for my youngest.  I have always put my daughters first and foremost in my life, to the detriment of my adult social life. In 2018 I decided to try dating again. Met a woman on Tinder. Things went well and ended up going to bed together that night. In the morning we said goodbye and went our separate ways, a mutual exchange of pleasure with no addendums....or so i thought.

December 2023 comes around and i receive a letter from CMS regarding a parental responsibility for a child, that i knew nothing about!! At no point was i contacted by this woman from  2018 to now. I do not even use Tinder anymore so have no way to contact this woman, as i deleted Tinder about a year after finding very little genuine relationship opportunities. 

I obviously challenged the parentage summation, paid for the Cellmark DNA test, and the results returned yesterday. The letter states that i am definitively the father of this child.

Now I am confused. Why has she never bothered to contact me about this? How has she been able to track me down? As a new father do i have right of objection, on the basis the child's mother and I never even had a 2nd date, let alone a relationship!! CMS webpage states it is best for the parents to come to some agreement regarding Maintenance payments, but as i have NO WAY to contact this person how can this be achieved? Does this mean CMS will determine my monthly payments? The first letter stated i owed 25k in back payments for being an absent father. If my total net worth is under this amount can CMS force me bankrupt? If not then will the back payments leave me destitute, and not worth working, as i will be unable to afford the minimal standard of comfort.... I have savings for my daughters Tuition fees to University next year. Can CMS steal this as part of the recouped back payment?

Any help/advice would be appreciated.

P.S. I have not taken on any legal guidance at this point. I wanted to wait until DNA had confirmed the result.

Quote
Topic starter Posted : 30/01/2024 7:38 pm
(@dadmod2)
Illustrious Member

hi,

so the CMS letter in december 2023, was that the first ever letter you received from them? or have you lived at difference addresses in the past and they sent letters and you never received them?

for her to open a claim, she only needs your contact details and an address.

the general rule with backdated payments is you can’t backdate a claim for child maintenance, but once the claim is open you can claim any arrears from the date the claim was made.

so if the CMS case was opened in December 2023, that 25k amount is wrong and I suggest you challenge it. call CMS on 0800 171 2345, and ask them to explain it all and find out when this case was opened. you can ask to speak to a caseworker if you don't get satisfactory answers.

ReplyQuote
Posted : 31/01/2024 9:14 pm
(@1977dad)
New Member Registered

@bill337 thanks for the reply.

In answer to your question, I have lived at my current address since 2016.

I will call CMS and find out when the claim was raised, as you have advised.

ReplyQuote
Topic starter Posted : 31/01/2024 10:29 pm
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