[Solved] finances, child benefits, tax credits, custody

Hi all,

I have a few question to do with finances, child benefits and tax credits, should i now challenge for 50/50 custody, and should I hold off getting my own place for the time being and try build up some savings?.

Three months ago ex-parte orders was issued by stbx and i attended FDH. Just had FHDRA last week which was very positive for my children and myself after stbx dug herself a hole with Cafcass, plus a very favorable report from Cafcass and me having some evidence for Carcass officer and her solicitor to look at on the day showing latest allegations to be false & completely without merit! 🙂 . Me and my children now have interim order for unsupervised contact every Sunday plus alternate Saturday overnights. We were only in front of the judge long enough to state the agreement reached but her solicitor told judge that this would increased to include Friday night to Monday morning every other week plus one night during week plus 50/50 during school holidays as soon as i got my own place (i'm currently living at my parents). This last bit seems to have become a bit of a double edged sword for me due to finances.

Had a financial disclosure from her Solicitor (this has lots of missing info) which shows she was hiding (large) monthly bonus's from me over last twelve months (she's in sales). I started working out cost of living and ran the numbers. These show that on income alone she has been able to maintain the children's standard of living (I still continue to pay over £300 per month for child care) without any other financial input from me. when i factor in child benefits, tax credits and maintenance she ends up with a considerable disposable income whilst i go the other way, and can barley afford a place to live for me and my kids after all essential expenses are factored in, our future standard of living would end up being much worse than it was when i was back in the MFH. She earns about a third more than me overall but i'm aware that i would no longer have to cover child care costs once maintenance kicks in, it also seems that she has been increasing their standard of living over the last three months spending any excess money on food, cloths entertainment etc. I'm aware that by the time the financials sit in front of a judge if they had to that their standard of living will have been at a new high for some time - her mom and step-dad have been through the court system years ago so insider knowledge :-(.
How best to proceed? - i'm thinking that i should remain at my parents until all the court processes are over to cover any unforeseen additional costs that i may not be able to pay later, I also need to save up to be able to pay for new beds, bedding seats etc - its really expensive setting up new!.

In relation to benefits. My calculations show that during school term time I would have my children 35% of the week, and at holidays it would be 50% of the week taking my overall joint custody to 43% of the time. Having almost sorted residency for children should i now continue push for 50/50 (due back in court in Feb if cannot make agreement) as this would even things out more in a number of areas including standard of living for me and kids when their with me. This was put to stbx in writing, her solicitor returned a phone call saying that stbx will not allow 50/50 under any circumstances but will accepted 57/43% joint residency in her favour. I have been advised that due to me being out of FMH and the children's ages that this is probably best that i can do given the circumstances even though I did more day to day child care (but going to be hard to prove on paper) - should I hold out and put it to the judge? (finding of facts hearing may still need to take place if no agreement due to initial DA allegation).

I've then asked stbx for child benefit of our second child to be put in my name and stbx to keep first plus child tax credits and we offset the difference against maintenance as this would help me with standard of living when me and kids are together due to her earning a lot more than me - answer was no and that she was entitled to all the benefits. I spoke to benefits officer who concurred that she would get all if we could not agree ourselves as she will have main residency.
Any suggestions please?

stbx was was hiding true extent of her earnings for last few years so that when i work their standard of living out now + benefits + maintenance, her and kids actually are far better off now than prior to our separation and leave me considerable worse off even though I would be looking after my children almost half the time.
How can i get a better financial outcome and even up the standard of living when the kids are with me?

for a bit of background to my circumstances i did a post entitled 'don't know where to start' back in mid November and received excellent advice, some of which really helped last week Big Thanks All..