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I broke up with my ex 12 year ago. She blocked access for years then I won in court 6 years ago, they let me see him twice the I was told by cafcass that I was no longer allowed to see him but it wasn't anything that I did. Now his mum messaged me yesterday asking for maintenence and that she won't let me see him still. What are my rights here?
Thank you.
She is within her rights to claim Im afraid. Contact has no bearing on maintanance unfortunately.
What contact did you get via the courts and why was it then terminated, didnt you go back to court to contest that?
Regards,
Dave
The court said that there is no cogent reason why I should have been refused contact (apart from spite from the ex) and that with immediate affect I am to start seeing him at a meeting place in town supervised by a member of cafcass and his mum or grandmum. This would start at a 1 hour session 1 per two weeks then longer and more frequent after a period of time. Then when it was the 3rd time I was told that he wasnt coming and that they (cafcass) were requesting to court that contact stop as it was effecting his starting a new year at school and his grandad had just died. I was then told that I couldn't go back to court and that I could send him a letter once a year with no reply from him.
Its not the paying money for things he needs I'm bothered about as I told her we you should have allowed us to sort this 10 years ago and again 6 year ago. Its that I am not willing to just hand over money for her to spend on whatever she wants. (He won't get any of it if she has her way)
Regards darren
Hi Darren
As mentioned above, contact and maintenance are separate issues. You have a legal obligation to pay maintenance, and if you can't come to an arrangement, then your ex can ask the CMS to act for you, and if you refuse to pay, or go into arrears, they'll add an additional 20% charge on top of your maintenance calculation, and they'll come after you for arrears, backdated to when they first contact you.
The best suggestion is that you check the calculator to see how much you are obliged to pay, and if it's less than you have been paying, then you can ask the CMS to oepn a case (costs £20) and pay directly to your ex's account - by doing this, you can ask the CMS to close the case when your ex is no longer entitled to maintenance.
Im quite shocked that CAFCASS said what they said, I really am and Im sorry to hear that they did.
Maybe some on here can offer advice on re applying for contact so that you can see your child.
I dont know, sorry to hear about the contact being stopped Darren.
Regards,
Dave
Thanks for the reply.
I have taken on board what people have kindly told me and also what I have read on various sites.
My two main concerns are that I know that she isn't and has never acted in the best interest of my son toward me and has and still will get away with it. I have no way of knowing that anything I pay will go to him as she has 3 kids and is recently single again so I know she will be wanting me to fund her and not my son directly.
2nd. I am self employed with a partner and child. Being self employed I am not guarenteed work or pay from month to month so therefor could not guarentee payment on time everytime.
Regards darren
Hello idleidol
As mentioned, maintenance payments and contact are not linked in law, so one should not affect the other.
If your ex was to start an application with the Child Maintenance Service, your responsibility to pay would start from around the time they contact you. They will work out an amount based on your average gross weekly income and you would pay the same amount every week or month.
As long as the payments were not missed, there would be no further charges. Collection charges are only applied if the Child Maintenance Service have to start collecting payments because of missed ones. You can put in an application yourself to the Child Maintenance Service if you like, there would be a £20 application fee for this.
If you would like information about all the different options and a more personalised service, you can contact Child Maintenance Options directly, http://www.cmoptions.org.
The Department for Work and Pensions (DWP) have a web application, ‘Sorting out separation’. It aims to make it much easier for separating and separated parents (and childless couples) to find the support they need, when and where they need it, and encourages them to collaborate on a range of issues. The link is http://www.dad.info/divorce-and-separation/sorting-out-separation.
Regards
William
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