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Hi All.
My ex left about 8 years ago and since then I have never missed a weekly payment. I've also always given at least double what the CSA calculator suggested. For the last 3 years, I've been giving her £60 a week, even though I've been in the process of building my business up and have only been obliged (according to the CSA calculator) to pay her £7 a week.
2 days ago she text me saying she couldn't afford to live on her wages/benefits/maintenance and wanted more. I explained that I was paying way over the odds and that it was a struggle for me to maintain it but I always had, and printed out the workings to show my income, the suggested CSA payment of £7 per week and an income projection showing how much I would have to be earning to be paying her £60 (take home pay of £28 or thereabouts).
She kicked off and was threatening to go to the CMS even after I showed her how much she'd get, then said she'd tell the kids that the reason they couldn't afford food was that I wasn't paying enough!
It gets stranger..... She is now saying she is refusing to accept any money from me at all and that I should put it in their trust funds! Any ideas what I should do? Where do I stand if I do put the money I usually give her into savings for the kids?
Thanks in advance.
Hi There,
.
How do you usually pay her? if its bank transfer, I would continue doing this so you have a record of making payments, if you pay her directly this will be harder to prove.
.
How did she tell you not to pay her? hopefully she sent this in a message either email or txt, make sure you keep it if she did so you can prove what has been said.
.
If you would be better off paying through CMS then another option would be to contact them directly and ask them to assess your income and take the option away from her, you could still over pay if you wanted, but you would cover yourself against any possible back payments.
.
GTTS
Thanks for your reply. I've been paying by bank transfer. I think I'll go through the CMS and pay the £7 a week and split the rest to treat the kids when I have them and put some in savings for them when they're older.
The whole situation play out via text message so I've got everything saved.
Hi,
.
I think that's the best option, cover your back so you can't suddenly get a surprise, she may have been thinking you would stop paying (as she requested) and then she could have made a claim and tried to get back payments ect, who knows how ex's really think.
.
GTTS
I've just spoken to someone at CMS and as she has told me to stop paying, she will not be eligible for any back payments as maintenance claims only commence from the date of application. I'm still going to pay the minimum anyway, so I can sleep at night. The kids will get the benefit from the balance when I see them.
Hello Dubcult
You are correct in saying that your responsibility to pay the Child Maintenance Service does not start until around the time they contact you about a case against you, so it is not possible for arrears to build up.
If your ex refuses payments from you, there is no way that you can force her to accept them, so putting them in a trust or account for your children would be fine.
As there is no statutory arrangement in place at the moment, there are no set rules or legally binding restraints on your agreement, therefore, it can be anything that you both agree to and if your ex does not accept payments, you can face no legal recourse.
If you would like some information about the different ways that maintenance payments can be set up and to receive a more personalised service, you can contact Child Maintenance Options directly, http://www.cmoptions.org.
The Department for Work and Pensions (DWP) have a web application, ‘Sorting out separation’. It aims to make it much easier for separating and separated parents (and childless couples) to find the support they need, when and where they need it, and encourages them to collaborate on a range of issues. The link is http://www.dad.info/divorce-and-separation/sorting-out-separation
Regards
William
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