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Basic story is my son lived with me for over 3 years in which i had him in a grammar school, he was in several clubs and doing quite well. The relationship between myself and his mother ended 11 years ago.
For years i did not pay much as i did not have much. but i've become quite well off now financially.
When i had my son, i did not pay child support as we have a daughter and she lived with the mother. But the mother claimed child benefit for the child who lived with me. At one stage the daughter was taken off the mother due to neglect, She is a poor parent, but the social services always take the mothers side.
One day she decided to take my son back off me, cut all contact and goto the CSA to get money, she didn't even ask me for money. She took the child because she had no money and wanted my money. She then took the child out of the grammar school because she couldn't afford to send him, now he dosnt goto school at all and the government allow this. hes 14.
The CSA told me i should pay £260 a month, but instead i was paying £300 to her and paying for schools etc which means it was costing me £400 per month. She has since had another child and because of that i am not funding a household with a new child so im giving her £260 a month, and thats it. nothing else. S
She is now harassing me for money, she has turned the kids against me and they wont even spend time with me. no matter how much i try. So ive decided to Move to Canada as ive been offered a Job. I will still support the kids by sending £260 a month. but i can not deal with the harassment .
Can anybody offer advice ? Why cant she use the £260 a month which the government recommends. i am thinking of involving social services again, the daughter was self harming in her care, the son is out late at night and she has no control. if i try to get involved i am told to F off, and im just ignored. I am powerless now.
has anybody had these experiences.
After separation I've always said you only pay child support nothing else the more you give on top the more they exepect and want.
Your job is to spoil your child in your own parenting time when you just focus on child expenses 260 I more than enough "support" "not for buying everything"
I love paying child support it's cheaper every time she asks for money foe this or that I always say child support will cover it
1.c100 and fm1
2.child support only
3.make sure your overnights refelect what your paying
4.enforce contact arrangment order if your blocked access
5.you only answer yes or no short texts to your ex other than that no reason to talk if you have set time to collect kids
6.It's worth going for residence order while you do the c100 explain as much as possible the harm and lack of schooling you've had them before I think you can do it !!
Hi there
How long ago was your son removed and if he was at grammar school at the time how did she achieve that...he would have been too big to physically remove him, did you do anything at the time to get him back?
It is against the law for a child not to attend school, have you contacted the education authority or your child's current school? The only time the government would be OK with a child not attending main stream school was if they were being home schooled, is this the case here?
If the CSA are involved and have told you how much you should pay, you don't have to increase this or pay for any extras.
Whether you take the job in Canada or not is your decision, but if you do I would certainly try your hardest to keep a line of communication open with your children, even if they don't respond. One day when eyre old enough to understand what happened they may return to you....going to court to try and make them see you may well not work as they is old enough to have their wishes and feelings listened to. How old is your daughter?
If you are concerned about the kids I would certainly say that you should contact SS and discuss it with them, whether they act on it is another matter. You could also call the NSPCC helpline and have a chat with them to see where you might be able to go with this.
All the best
Daughter is 13 and son almost 15. It's their choice not to spend time with me. Anytime I do see them they are very loving. She just had them brainwashed as she uses me as the punishment weapon.
I wouldn't never lift my hand to them.
I am going to canada and I pay both their mobile phone con tracts so I will keep contact. I hope when they get older they realise how much I did.
Thanks for replys. I'm going to talk to SS before I go.
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