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Hi everyone,
I have been trying to deal with this by myself but have been getting nowhere.
I have an 18 yr old daughter (19 next month) who I have always paid maintenance for.
In recent yearsI have noticed that the money is being paid to her mother when she is actually living with her mothers parents (ie not the main carer)
I have challenged previously this with the CSA initially, who came back with laughable comments such as "oh well maybe she pays the money direct to your daughter/her gran" which imo is not acceptable as I know the grandparent has been her main carer for the past 15 years at least.
I have contacted the mother via facebook asking her to cancel her claim and arrange for her parents to claim so I can pay them or our daughter direct. I have sent several messages like this but have never received any response.
I understand my ex lives in London but does have access to a council property in Bristol (where I used to live with her) which is near where our daughter actually lives with her grandparents.
I have asked my daughter which address she is registered to at college and work and she has refused to answer me, saying that is an inappropriate question. This is when her mother suddenly started living at the Bristol address.
I believe my daughter and her mother are both registered as the vacant Bristol address which is why she has been allowed to claim child benefit all this time and even have a facebook message from a neighbour confirming the mother only stays there every 4 months or so, although recently its been every day for the last month (Since I asked my daughter which address she is registered at)
I have been considering legal action and have been advised to get a DNA test beforehand. I have asked the mother some years back for this but she continues to ignore me. recently I have had to ask my daughter direct which has made her VERY angry with me and seems oblivious to the fact her mother is committing fraud.
It seems absurd in this day and age that someone can get away with committing benefit fraud for so long and the CMS/CBA seem unable or unwilling to see this and in the end just apply arrears.
Does anyone have any advice as I seem to be in a very big hole. I accept I need to make payments but leaves a bitter taste in my mouth that the money goes to a mother who is not the primary carer for our child and should be contributing to the child support.
The CMS/CBA seem to investigate but not very thoroughly, stopping my payments for a months or two, leaving me with arrears which I cannot afford to pay.
I have been doing 22 hrs a week overtime just to pay for this and have 2 other children to care for.
The CMS just say instructions come from the CBA. I wrote to the complaints team at CBA and had a letter back saying they treat these matters seriously and will investigate but wouldn't divulge me with the details after. Payments stopped again for the last 2-3 months but got paid today and £500 (inc arrears) has been taken so obviously nothing has been done and no letter has been sent to me even to say nothing has changed.
Any advice on where I can go from here would be gratefully received.
Hi Craigie121
Sorry to hear what you're going through.
I noticed you mention that your daughter is 19? Is she still at college or will she finish college next year ? The reason I'm asking is because csa is payable to ex until your child reaches 18 and finish full time education the child benefit . stops at certain times in the year once child benefit stops - csa stops . I know it doesn't help with the arrears but it's a start. If your child resits for eg A levels then ex can still claim child benefit until your daughter is 20, again no more csa payments as she needs to be in receipt of child benefit. Hope info helps
Thank you Yasmin.
She will be 19 at the end of Nov and currently studying Media at college.
She works and goes to college but dont think she works over the required hours for child maintenance to stop. She has been coached not to give me much information, im not even sure what qualification this is for or if its even eligible for child benefit.
Im not trying to get out of paying but I was treated very badly by her mother and the thought of my money going to her (and I have no way of knowing what she does with it) makes me feel sick, especially as she hasn't been her main carer for more than 15 years.
They are both registered at an address neither of them live at but seem to be getting away with fraud and the CMS and CBA dont seem interested in investigating it.
It all sounds complicated with your ex claiming the benefits and not living at the address and your daughter living elsewhere
hope it all gets sorted for you
Unfortunately, the benefits agency never seem interested in chasing up child benefit fraud - presumably due to cuts in staff, but I would have thought that any extra staff employed would easily pay for themselves in benefits not being paid out fraudulently.
UPDATE:
Still paying full child maintenance payments to the mother.
I have sent the CMS many many facebook posts from our daughter which clearly state she doesn't live with her mother and has been raised by her grandparents.....generic response from CMS saying they aren't doing anything about it but obviously dont go into detail.
The mother seems to be trying to cover some tracks and has suddenly moved back into the 'shared' property, after not living there for years, The timing coincided with my complaint to the CMS. confirmed by a neighbour on facebook chat also adding the kids have 'never lived there' which of I took a screen shot and sent to the CMS but of course had no response.
Our daughter text me in June this year to say she is splitting her living arrangements between her BF, grandparents and mother, so 2-3 nights with the mother. Again sent to the CMS but no response and no reduction in payments to the mother.
15 years she has got away with claiming this money from me. The CMS seem so corrupt its unbelievable.
hi,
sounds very tough. all i can suggest is keep fighting. whatever happens, child maintenance will stop at age 20. i read all sorts on child maintenance gov sites, that they arrange refunds in certain cases. have you tried getting your local MP/Councillor involved? i did and one day the ex's council flat scam fell on its face and she got kicked out.
Good advice, I think MP is my next step.
Payments 'should stop' after this month anyway as my daughter left college in the summer and will be 20 in November, Its the principle of the whole thing though and how I have been ignored despite giving the CMS clear proof that the mother is not our daughters main carer.
Of course the CMS admitting this would mean admitting the whole system has failed as I have been telling them she has not been our daughter main carer for many years.
Nothing gets done, CMS are happy as long as they get their extortionately high 'admin fee' for a text once a month and yearly statement.
Will be glad to see the back of them but not before ive taken it as far as possible!
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