Welcome to the DAD.Info forum: Important Information – open to read:
Our forum aims to provide support and guidance where it can, however we may not always have the answer. The forum is not moderated 24 hours a day, so If you – or someone you know – are being harmed or in immediate danger of being harmed, call the police on 999.
Alternatively, if you are in crisis, please call Samaritans on 116 123.
If you are worried about you or someone you know is at risk of harm, please click here: How we can help
I need advice and guidance - Since this is the website quoted by the CSA (a non sexualy biased organisation) I thought I should start here.
About 6 month ago i wan contacted by the CSA to say the mother of my kids says i have not paid her maintenance.
We had an arrangement and also have a consent order. But, the CSA say this cannot be taken into consideration because she says it NOT for the children and money i agreed to pay her.
To make things worse, an old CSA case opened years ago is apparently still open - although dormant- mean she can take more money from me. None of the financial arrangement we made counts towards my maintenance payments says the CSA and they have just taken half my salary this month.
The CSA have just told me that ad far as they are concerned I have never paid a penny towards my kids support and they the funds I have been paying to my ex partner were only for ancillary relief and not for the kids - in other words my ex partner has now decided our entire agreement no longer works and she wants to double dip.
This cant be fair... Please help. I also have two work colleagues who have exactly the same thing happen. One of them.
Side note: I have not seen my kids for 7 years and have tried everything but no luck. Horrible story all of this.
Hi and welcome
Firstly, I agree that it isn't at all fair, but unfortunately it does happen and is often made worse by the CSA taking their time over correspondence.
You are in a difficult position, and it's potentially worse because, as you have mentioned, the case with the CSA goes back a long way and the CSA can go back to when the case was opened. Ideally, you would have proof that the money you paid was for child maintenance (ie quoted on a standing order) but I assume you don't have this.
I think your best course of action is to go to see your MP - I would try to get a personal meeting rather than just correspond with him as I think it's better that he knows you rather than just being a name among many that he deals with. Take along everything typed out with a summary in bullet point form to give to him - that way nothing gets missed if he takes notes. You need to ask him to raise a complaint with the CSA about the fact that they have not contact you earlier and that you have been paying directly as a result (take as much proof as you can regarding your payments). Unfortunately, I can't say with confidence that it's all going to work out in your favour, but I'd certainly be fighting it as hard as possible.
Thanks so much for your reply.
I have contacted my MP and await their reply...
Having searched the net and other with other research, I have found many other people in the exact same situation. I have also discovered this is quite unique to the UK.
The question remains: Why would I routinely pay a woman, who has dissappeared with our children, thousands of pounds over many years if it were not for child maintenance? I even have a consent order which states I am NOT to pay any other funds to her (which is a legal document in every court in the land - but not the CSA). I have hand written letters, emails and a consent order - which have all been dashed because she said the money was not for the kids.
Why don't the CSA ask her what if was for? They have asked the father very probing questions through the years.
When everyone I have spoken to at the CSA know what is going on, why are they so helpless to stop it?
Welcome to the DAD.info forum.
We don’t like to set ‘rules’, but to make sure that you and the other dads are kept safe, we have some requests. When engaging with the forum, please be aware of the following:
- The forum is not moderated 24 hours per day.
- Many of the moderators do so on a voluntary basis. Whilst they may be able to provide some guidance, advice or support, they may not be able to deal with specifics.
- We are not an emergency crisis service so if you or someone else is in immediate danger, please call emergency services.
- If you are concerned about the safety of a child, please click here to find the support you can get for them (link to new page)
- If you are in crisis, please call Samaritans on 116 123. They are open 24 hours a day, 7 days per week.
We hope you find this forum a supportive environment and thank you for joining us.