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Hi All,
I am in desperate help regarding the benefits received for children, please if anyone can help I'd appreciate it.
I'm a single dad to 3 kids. Separated from their mother for 18 months now due to domestic abuse. I took the kids with me when I left, and after a lengthy court process, I now, as of this week, have a court order to state that I am primary carer for the children, though we have shared residence. The children are home with me 16 nights/28 and currently I claim the tax credits and Child benefit.
My problem is that their mother is being financially abusive towards me, demanding money from me to pay for the kids food etc while they are at hers for the 12 nights/28. Even though we are separated the abuse just doesn't go away....She is claiming that she is entitled to half of the child tax credits and half the child benefit. I have been paying her £30/week to feed the kids while there, but I cannot do it financially anymore. I only have 2 days a week where I can work due to looking after my 2 year old.
I also pay for their school uniforms, their school trips, I collect and drop the kids off at their mum since she doesn't drive, I take the kids to any after school activities even when they are with her.
She is now threatening me with further court/legal action if I don't pay her the money. I told her today I cannot continue to pay her the £30 and the abuse has started...
Has anyone any idea how all of this would work out if it went to court or whatever? Has anyone had experience of this? The last thing I need is to be dragged through court again by this woman, I just want to be left alone in peace with my children.
Hi All,
I am in desperate help regarding the benefits received for children, please if anyone can help I'd appreciate it.
I'm a single dad to 3 kids. Separated from their mother for 18 months now due to domestic abuse. I took the kids with me when I left, and after a lengthy court process, I now, as of this week, have a court order to state that I am primary carer for the children, though we have shared residence. The children are home with me 16 nights/28 and currently I claim the tax credits and Child benefit.
I am not liable for any child maintenance payments due to the fact that the children are predominantly with me, and I'm not interested in claiming against their mother.
My problem is that their mother is being financially abusive towards me, demanding money from me to pay for the kids food etc while they are at hers for the 12 nights/28. Even though we are separated the abuse just doesn't go away....She is claiming that she is entitled to half of the child tax credits and half the child benefit. I have been paying her £30/week to feed the kids while there, but I cannot do it financially anymore. I only have 2 days a week where I can work due to looking after my 2 year old.
I also pay for their school uniforms, their school trips, I collect and drop the kids off at their mum since she doesn't drive, I take the kids to any after school activities even when they are with her.
She is now threatening me with further court/legal action if I don't pay her the money. I told her today I cannot continue to pay her the £30 and the abuse has started...
Has anyone any idea how all of this would work out if it went to court or whatever? Has anyone had experience of this? The last thing I need is to be dragged through court again by this woman, I just want to be left alone in peace with my children.
Hi there
Contact and child finances are two entirely separate issues, and family court wouldn't get involved in this side of things.
As you have them slightly more and are in receipt of the child benefits/credits, there's nothing that she can do as far as I know, you are not liable to give her anything towards the children's upkeep when they are with her.
If she works, and as you receive child benefit for the kids, you would be entitled to claim child maintenance from her too...perhaps you should use the child maintenance calculator to work out what you could claim from her if you chose to, and then show her that she is x amount better off as you aren't claiming it, but tell her that if she persists in this you will make a claim.
Here's a link to the calculator
www.gov.uk/calculate-your-child-maintenance
Best of luck
See the below thread -
https://www.dad.info/forum/child-maintenance/39169-csa-cms-legislation-shared-residence
I'm no expert but I would only think the court can enforce maintanence under the CMS rules, and according to the above post, if there is shared residence in place then there is no maintanence liable from either parent.
If your worried speak to the CMS they will be able to advise.
You could try and give her half of what she has asked but ask her to give you half of everything you buy for the children back.
See a solicitor and get a consent order made ( keep all receipts ) if she does not give you the money you ask for , she is in breach of the order and as such you can stop giving any money.
Just a thought
Perhaps a solution would be to let her claim tax credits and CB for one of the 3 children and you claim for the other two? If they are staying with her for 12 nights out of 16 and she doesn't work, she might find it difficult to provide for them during their time with her.
I agree, I would be inclined to tell her that you are happy to pay for those things out of the maintenance claim you will put in against her if she insists on hassling you for money.
Hi
As you are the main carer of the children, with a residence order at that, you qualify for any Child Benefits and Child Tax Credits. Further, you are also entitled to make a claim for Child a Support from the CMS. She has no right to hassle you for money. If anything, she should be the one making a contribution toward the financial upkeep of the children.
You should go ahead and make an application to the CMS. This should stop the constant harassment from your ex-partner.
All the best.
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