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Help is needed..
I left my old company and was paying regular payments to my ex mutually without using the CSA. For my 2 kids I was paying roughly £1,500 as I was in a well paid job.
Since I have left, my ex has spat her dummy as I was earning nothing.. ( made redundant ) and quite clearly was un able to pay her. I tried to resolve this as amicable as possible but due to her pathetic and shallow ways she soon started to refuse me access to my kids.
I called everyday and wrote to them once a week, I live 80 miles from them and would drive there every weekend and try and ressolve the matter as an adult with her but to no avail.
6 months past without seeing my boys and i was heart broken.. The only way I was to ressolve the situation was to give her money..
Fortunatly in february this year I started a new job, I text and called her but no response. Informed her I was working and wanted to pay my way. No response.
My only way of getting her money was to contact the CSA myself, in which I did as soon as I started working. They took my details, I sent them wage slips and proof of income, as well as making an initial payment of £200.
I tried to contact my ex to expalin and got no response.. I was told by the csa that the payment had been sent to her.
That was in february - in August my ex contacted me and said the kids wanted to see me. So I have been seeing my kids as often as possible ( most weekends ) - travelling to see them.
I did not hear from the CSA from Feb, but my ex called them last week and said she now wanted money and would not take it from me directly ( i offered her money each month and she declined ).
I have now been told that I have to pay £70 per week ( which I am more than happy to pay ) - but in addition to this I now have a CSA back dated bill of £2,240.
I have called them and informed them that it was me that contacted them in the first place and that they havent contacted me at all in regards to payment.. yet i tried to set up payments -
My ex calls once and its backdated to february - even though she refused money from me directly.
She doesn't let me have the kids over night as someone at the CSA has informed her that if I have them over night then her payments would be reduced.
Event thought that when they used to stay with me they had an amazing time and used to cry when they went home ( and I felt sorry for my ex ).
I'm in a bad situation as my out goings are extream and I cant even afford £70 pw - let alone an addition £64 pw for the debt.
I am due in court on the 31st of Oct which will prob send me into bankruptcy - due to this debt..
The CSA dont care.. and all they want is the money.
its the most infuriating situation and I have no ideas what my options are.. any advice??
Hi and welcome
The situation you are in does seem very unfair as you haven't been trying to avoid paying, or reducing the amoutn you should be paying. If this is resolved, I would not, under any circumstances, pay you ex directly as it's almost certainly not going to be taken into account - since the CSA are involved, always pay through them.
Is the court hearing you are due at for the CSA, or is it other financial issues? If it's the CSA, you have the opportunity to state your case and much as the CSA will try to recover as much as possible, the courts can be more reasonable. State your case, take along figures to back these up, and come up with a reasonable schedule to repay the arrears - one that you can afford, but doesn't look like you are trying to get away with as little as possible, and with any luck, the court will accept this. If there is a change in your circumstances in the future, let the CSA know immediately and if it's an increase in pay, assume that the maintenance payments will increase from that date so you minimise the chance of getting into arrears again.
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