Hi
This is my first post as I couldn't see anything on here relating to my situation which is as follows
In 2006 I left my ex and 6 yr daughter because I was getting very depressed and couldn't handle being around my ex any more. My ex and my self worked out I could have my daughter for one night a week (Friday evening through to Saturday teatime) as I worked full time. I also gave my ex money towards upkeep of my daughter.
In 2008 I moved in with my future wife who has an autistic boy. My arrangement to have my daughter on Friday/Saturday still stood but soon became apparent that the ex didn't like it. In 2009 we told my daughter that we were getting married and she was really happy to be a bridesmaid. Soon after the ex found out and took me to the CSA to claim payments. Even tho the CSA payments were a lot I paid them without any argument. About 3 weeks after telling my daughter about the wedding she broke down in front of me and my fiancé saying she couldn't be a bridesmind. I had to call my ex to find out what the issue was. Turns out the ex had arranged a 2 week holiday for the same time as the wedding so my daughter couldn't attend.
Shortly after this my daughter didn't want to come over anymore and would run away from me if I went to her home with birthday or Xmas cards. From this point it was made clear to me that neither my ex or daughter wanted anything to do with me. Regardless of how many times I tried to make contact. From this point I stepped back as I could tell it was distressing my daughter to be around me due to whatever my ex had told her. In late 2011 my ex got married.
Earlier 2012 I married my wife and shortly afterwards found out we were expecting a baby. I tried to let my daughter know that she would be a big sister and have a half sister but this ended up in with my daughter saying she wanted nothing to do with me. This was hard to deal with but I respected her wishes and haven't tried to make contact since.
Now I've recently changed jobs (sept 2014) and moved home to the same area as where my daughter was living. I tried to let her know through her grandmother that if she seen me in the area it was not a case of me trying to make contact but that's where I lived now with my wife, step-son and baby daughter.
As a result of me moving jobs CSA haven't been taking any money for maintenance and now saying I have to pay £1300 in arrears plus maintenance. This will cripple me as I'm the sole earner in the family with my wife staying at home to be with our 2yr girl and look after our autistic son. I'm just above the limit to claim working tax credits so paying out £400+ a month will leave me with £300 for electic/gas, food, clothes and other expenses after paying rent.
Seen as my eldest daughter wants nothing to do with me, and her mother is actively avoiding me, why should I be paying any CSA payments?
Please bear in mind that my name is not on the birth certificate and I have no parental responsibility yet the CSA are only interested in claiming money from me and not listening to my side of the story. I have already told the CSA that I can't afford to make that sort of payment and waiting my case worker to phone me.
You will have to pay the arrears.
In law, Child Maintenance (CM) payments have nothing to do with wether you have access or contact to the child you are paying for.
If you can be proved to be the father, then you are liable in law for CM payments (even if you are not on the Birth Cert).
It is up to you to chase contact and Parental Responsibility (PR) through the courts (I am not in any way implying that this is fair).
Hopefully you should be able to persuade the CSA to come to an arrangement whereby you pay a more affordable rate.
You can take it to appeal in order to see if this can be done.
Your wife may be able to register as a carer for your autistic son, and thereby get some helpful payments from the government?