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Any advice would be gratefully accepted on the following...
My partner's nearly ex-wife (just got the Decree Absolute to come :woohoo: ) does not think that the amount advised by the CSA is enough for her. While the two of us live together in a cheap rented house, earning a combined wage that would still be considered low for an individual to earn, she earns nearly double what we do. Admittedly her outgoings are higher, but then we all live to our means... I can't even afford to put money into a pension let alone afford a cleaner or expensive hair cuts (apparently essential for her lifestyle).
Anyway, my partner was paying her £400 a month, until he was made redundant last year. We struggled to pay her that when he had a regular wage, and got ourselves into more debt to keep her happy. Now, he is self employed and does not always have the money to pay her this amount, let alone afford our rent. She has now been told in court by a judge that the amount he is paying is not sustainable on his wage, and the financial agreement was that they would consult the CSA guidelines and he would pay that amount.
The amount the guidelines suggest is £160 per month. This was even with over-estimating certain aspects of his income. She has now been told that this is the amount he has been advised to pay, and she has very 'kindly' asked that he would consider paying more as 'children are very expensive to run'. I know full well, that if he sticks to his guns about this, she will very quickly become less than nice (she is by nature a bully, as well as very greedy).
Obviously, my partner would do anything for his son if he needed it. He would give him anything if he could. But he would rather use the extra money to pay for activities when he stays with us. Maybe, pay for us all to have a lovely family holiday together in the summer, or do other fun activities (even driving somewhere is difficult at present because we worry about affording the fuel).
What should he do? Give her a little extra? And if so, what should he offer? Or should he stick to his guns? Any advice on how to do this without inflaming the situation, is greatly appreciated.
Maintenance and contact are not linked so it should have no bearing howeve he reality is different.
She may become obtuse and deny contact.
Is there a contact order in place or is the contact agreed between them?
If no contact order is in place then your partner may wish to consider mediation and have it go to court to formalise or if she is difficult then it may be he has to go to court anway.
Sadly if your partner does not comply with her demands for more money I would expect her to become difficult.
Mediation would be preffered but it may be he has to go to court.
If I were your partner I would stick to my guns but the child has to be considered. It is not right that you live in poverty but the decision has to be in the best interests of the child, your partner living in poverty would not neccessarily be in the best interests of the child either.
I hope this helps, just my opinion.
Regards,
Dave
Hi NottheDaddy.
Thank you for your post. I am Sarah the Child Maintenance Options consultant.
The Child Support Agency (CSA) would only expect your partner to pay the amount that they have calculated. Anything he pays over that amount would be purely voluntary on his part.
I can see that Dave has already suggested mediation, but if your partner feels that by refusing to pay over and above the amount CSA have calculated, his ex-wife will possibly make things difficult with regards to his contact with his son. It may be something that he wishes to consider. He could also speak to his solicitor, if he has one. Gov.uk has a service which may help you to find a solicitor or mediator in your area. You can find this at https://www.gov.uk/find-a-legal-adviser.
We also have a sorting out separation web-app that you may find useful, it offers help and support to separating families. The link is: http://www.dad.info/divorce-and-separation/sorting-out-separation.
To find out more about how Child Maintenance Options can help you visit cmoptions.org or call us free on 0800 988 0988 between 8am and 8pm Monday to Friday or 9am and 4pm on Saturday
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