[Solved] CSA case reopened - legal standpoint

Hi there

This must have been a shock for you and I can understand the way you are feeling right now. It's so sad that there is a little girl in the middle of this that is completely blameless and would I'm sure, benefit from having her Daddy in her life.

Of course the decision is yours and I imagine it must be very hard to contemplate putting yourself in a position where she could be taken from you again, but I would urge you to search deeply within and look again at your decision not to be a part of her life.

As far as the CSA situation is concerned, had her step dad at the time adopted her then your ex couldn't claim from you, but as you haven't mentioned that I can only assume that that wasn't the case and therefore you are still responsible for supporting your daughter financially...not what you wanted to hear, but there are many fathers that pay maintenance without ever having contact with their child.

Best of luck

Thanks NannyJane.
That is what i suspected, I will need to find out if my daughter was adopted, I think she has my ex's partners last name so it could be possible.

And you are correct. one of the major reasons i came to the decision not to reconnect was the fact that my ex will do exactly the same thing when the next guy comes along, of that i have no doubt.

and yes i'm sure she has her dad in her life in the form of my ex's former husband whom she's been calling dad for the last 5 years.

thanks again

... I'm pretty sure you would have had to have been informed and involved in the process had an adoption taken place as its a matter for the courts.

If you did decide to try and re-establish contact with your daughter you might like to think about Mediation to sort out any doubts you have about the same thing happening again. There is also the option of court to apply for a Child Arrangements Order should she try to stop contact again in the future. A court order would define contact and is also legally binding.

As a tentative step before any final decision, it might be useful to meet with the ex somewhere neutral to discuss in depth how to manage a possible re introduction and ask what reassurances she can give you for the future.

There is a sticky at the top of the Legal Eagle section with a link to the CAFCASS Parenting Plan, if you decided to move things on this might be a good starting point to help you both acknowledge and agree boundaries going forward.

Hello Trevorkudos

Just to confirm what has been mentioned previously. Unless your daughter has been adopted by someone else, in which case you would almost certainly know about it, you are legally responsible to contribute to her upbringing. That doesn’t change if her mother has another partner as it is your personal contribution and not based on anyone else’s circumstances but your own.

Also, any rights that you have to contact with your daughter are not affected by your ex’s relationship status or whether maintenance is being paid or not.
If you would like information about the different ways available for setting up maintenance payments and a more personalised service, you can contact Child Maintenance Options directly, http://www.cmoptions.org.

The Department for Work and Pensions (DWP) have a web application, ‘Sorting out separation’. It aims to make it much easier for separating and separated parents (and childless couples) to find the support they need, when and where they need it, and encourages them to collaborate on a range of issues. The link is http://www.dad.info/divorce-and-separation/sorting-out-separation

Regards

William

Hi William,

Yes I realise that by the law I am responsible.
That does not mean i have to agree with them.

I detached my emotions based on what I was told forcefully from my ex partner.
My decisions are based on my own reasoning and principles.

I will take action based on those principles.
Thank you all for your input it is much appreciated.

Hi Trevor,

It sounds like you masy have a decision in your head about how you are going to move forward but if I can say so, remember the little girl in the middle of you and your ex partner.

I know you have had a huge green rub and are angry but there is a little girl out there who needs you in her life.

I really hope you dont mind my 2 cents.

Regards,

Dave

Hi Dave,

I don't mind at all. Thanks for your comments.

I won't take any action until I have thoroughly and completely thought through the situation.
and most likely taken counsel of friends, family and/or a professional.

I still cannot help but feel wronged by everything that has happened,
I have completely missed her early childhood and for me that is unforgivable.
Please don't think that my ex is destitute or my daughter is living in squalor.
We are both successful business owners.

Thanks

I understand!

I hope it works out for you all.

Regards,

Dave