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Hi all, I'm going to start this story from the very beginning. I understand there will be a few easily judgmental sides but I kindly ask if you could reframe from doing so.
My fiancé and I have been together for just over a year - we have. 14 week old baby who was born extremely unwell (he has had meningitis twice and is now severely brain damaged) he has another son who we see every other weekend. The child's mother has never asked for any money as she gets benefits but whenever there is a struggle we always help. We drive 1.5/2 hours to collect him and he stays here.
Around a year and a half ago on Valentine's Day and ex of my partners contacted 3 people within my family. She claimed she had given birth to his child and was going to make his life [censored] as she hated him.
We moved away and out popped up the CSA sending letters to my mothers address. She brang them to our new house and my partner called and told them he was not the farther, he is not on the birth certificate and In fact and cheated on him. They said we would have to pay £250 for a dna test of which we didn't have. We didn't hear again from them for a while, Unknown to me my mother was sending all of our mail 'not at this address' back.
I found out I was pregnant and moved back, we lived at my mothers, on friends sofas anywhere we could as we have no money for a flat. By Novemeber we had saved enough and rented a flat. A month ago we received a letter telling him he owed £1,500+ and they were going to begin taking £390 from his wages every month.
We received a threatening message from the girl; her claiming she knew where we lived and stated the town, where he worked and was very nasty.
My fiancé suffers from depression and tends to hide and run from situations. Not because he's a bad person but he doesn't know how to cope. My question now is this money around £400 is missing from his wages (yet to received the pay check) if this is the CSA how do we lower the payments, we cannot afford to pay our rent or bills. My OH receives £1,200 with her money taken rent is £900.. And I'm sure you can work out the rest.
Since he now has over £2,000 of arrears the said they would take £50 a week I'm supposing it totalling to £390 is to pay some arrears. How can we get it down to a substantial rate until we can afford a DNA. He has two children although the one who lives away I'm not sure if that will count.
I don't want to go back to living on sofas. We can't afford to pay this amount, if they are kind enough to take into count the boy(s) will they backdate that amount?
I hope this makes sense and I really hope people can try not to be judgmental. We love the two boys very much and would do anything for them - I don't want it to have to come to not seeing his first son as we have no money for petrol and no home.
Thank you.
Hi
You can try to negotiate with the CSA to get the amount down - they'll try to put you doff, but be persistent. The CSA won't backdate payments/recalculations to before the were notified.
With the DNA test, if it proves negative, then the cost of the DNA test is usually refunded. On that basis, it's probably worth taking the CMS
Hi thank you for your response. So even though the woman is aware he has two other children and has had one of them since the beginning of this case and once since December they won't correct their mistake? (I suppose they should have been informed is there argument) his payslip has been picked up and he paid £362.18. Is total salary before deductions is £1916. Yet this month he took home £1187 which doesn't even cover bills. What's the likelihood of them taking this into account?
And we will only get a deduction for the child we have together full time? How much will this be?
Hi there
The CSA take no prisoners I'm afraid and because your partner didn't continue to deal with it at the time, they are within their rights to calculate an amount and pursue payment.
Here's a link to the sticky about this
http://www.dad.info/forum/child-maintenance/39107-disputing-parentage-dna-test
You can begin the appeal and complaints process with the CSA and you could also go and see your MP and ask for their help, some can be very helpful. Don't lose time in getting this started.
As your partner declared at the beginning that he wasn't the father, you could ask for any payments that you've made to be reimbursed, but again the CSA are a law unto themselves sometimes. Until parentage can be ascertained either way they will continue to take payments, so it's important that you get this sorted. Sometimes the CSA will pay for the DNA test but if it comes back that your partner is the father he will have to pay for it....because of the time that has elapsed, they may try and refuse to assist with the DNA test. When you phone them ask to speak to a manager and don't be fobbed off, wait on the phone until you can talk to someone in authority, you may have to wait on the phone but don't give up!
Heres a link to the complaints process
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