[Solved] Constant threat with CMS and an abusive Ex-wife

Dad2 hope you don't think i am hijacking this thread.

But you are right it is biased towards the “Receiver”
Deviation orders only work in favour of the “Receiver” e.g. if you have a joint mortgage and you leave the property then the Deviation order works in your favour
But if you stay in the joint property then there is no case for the Deviation order it means nothing
No matter what joint Debts you have the “Receiver” gets to walk away and ofc receive everything from the “Payee”
There is no point trying to argue with them as they just hide behind “This is the Legislation” as they can not justify any other reason for this
They live up to there nick name Child Nazis there is no reasoning with them especially in the Best Interest of the Children.

Also i now find my self wondering what tools they have used to find out that i have a Television subscription and a car and other things they let slip in conversations
What Law could the CMS possibly use to find this information out.

Tomorrow i will have my first Court appearance for none payment of Council Tax
I have also had form the bank the schedule of House Repossession
Thanks CMS ofc this is all in the best interests of the children as long as the “Receiver” gets everything

Honestly, post divorce situation for dads is against human rights. We should have right to live, have a new family, new life, have new partners and be happy. Nobody here is trying to get away from their financial responsibilities for their kids but surely other parent has the same responsibilities too. I don't understand why cannot we have any control over how that money we give is spent? Why other parameters such as who kept the family home, who took the debts, who worked and earned money during the marriage cannot be considered while calculating maintenance?
I totally agree with Freshboarder. These regulations make it very encouraging and appealing for some women to have children and divorce, and see this a way to secure themselves financially. Someone mentioned about a full time nanny. I love the idea. I really would have done that if I could think during my own divorce. I will always regret that I did not fight for custody and then employ a full time nanny.
One can argue saying that CM money is for children not for the ex but then why don't they let dads to spend their own money for their kids in a way that they prefer or at least have some control. Is it fair to make post divorce life emotionally and finsncially impossible for men, by seeing them as money source only and doing that hiding behind their children who they love dearly. I see no difference between a manipulating ex wife and CMS. They do the same thing.

Gentlemen,

I had enough of the CSA and CMS all in one they are an organisation that does portrait th right theory but has some vital flwas. What good is it to the children if a father takes his own life because he can no longer cope.

You raise a good point Dad2, suicide remains the most common cause of death for men under 45, but society doesn't like to talk about it. Everyone knows the bias against men in family law is a strong contributory factor, but this is something of a taboo subject.

O

I just wonder how can I notice these issues and no Government party can. Surely a study should be commissioned and state whether in fact the CMS brings a benefit to society.

I am pro the family-based arrangement and it is a step forward but your ex does not even need to consider it which is absolutely ridiculous. All one wants is to contribute directly to their children and less to their ex is that so hard to understand,

I also think that the claims against fathers are unreasonable in particular those coping with debt. In order to survive you must have the minimum outgoings how can you rebuild a new life and a new family, in particular if your ex cheated on you. I think the same rates should remain but your should pay your ex based on net wages not gross we do not take GROSS salaries home.

Needs improvement on all levels.

Hi Dad2,

You will find much sympathy for your views on this site, but I'm afraid no great support away from it, that is why successive governments have continued with the family arrangements much as they are now. For some reason our nation (and most others in the western world) considers it fine for single men to end up living under the railway arches on cold toast, but unacceptable for women and children.

Following your comment about suicide the other day I did some research and whilst there were lots of articles that talked about how dreadful it was that the male suicide rate was three times higher than the female one (and has been for decades) not a single one mentioned the strong causal connection there will be between divorce, the bias against dads in residency, the penury it often results in and male suicide. Whilst male suicide is something on a taboo subject, society (not government) admitting it has it wrong with its shameful treatment of fathers is verboten.

I'm not sure the net/gross CM charges issue has much weight, CSA rates were based on net earnings, CMA on gross, but the percentages differ by 20%, so they end up being the same. The issues are around fairness, and whether society has created a lucrative divorce/residency industry that very clearly favours women (and solicitors!).

Time to take the dog for a walk.

Best wishes,

O

re written this and re written this it was long

will keep it short

the guy from Rochdale Council i spoke to seems to be understanding of wants gone on

as for the other chat i have been in a dark place for the last 10 months
i have disconnected from my children as i dont want to put them in the middle of this
they seem happy

with not knowing what’s gone/going on

Hi pointless task

It's often easy to get overlooked when you tag onto someone else's posts, it would be better if you start your own topic and post with any questions you have, other members are more likely to reply to you that way.