DAD.info
Forum - Ask questions. Get answers.
Welcome to the DAD.Info forum: Important Information – open to read:

Our forum aims to provide support and guidance where it can, however we may not always have the answer. The forum is not moderated 24 hours a day, so If you – or someone you know – are being harmed or in immediate danger of being harmed, call the police on 999.

Alternatively, if you are in crisis, please call Samaritans on 116 123.

If you are worried about you or someone you know is at risk of harm, please click here: How we can help

Confused - who do I...
 
Notifications
Clear all

[Solved] Confused - who do I pay?

 
(@ConfusedBob)
New Member Registered

Hello all, looking for some advice - if anyone could help that would be great.

My situation is I've 2 children with my ex partner who I've always paid csa for - even when one lived with me. Things have never been particularly civil or amicable between my ex partner and myself, however I've always managed to maintain regular contact with the children. The eldest of which moved in with a relative at the age of 14, and I continued to pay my ex partner a large sum of money each week for their upkeep until they reached 19 - I did dispute this, regularly, with the csa but was always told that unless she notifies child benefit the child no longer lived with her there was nothing they could do. Obviously, she never did this. History is now repeating.

Our second child has now been kicked out of the home and is living with a family friend. I am unable to have them live with me due to my 50 hour working weeks and my other 3 children who live at my house, 2 of whom are registered disabled, being more than enough for my partner to manage alone. I do have contact with my older child and appreciate that they're much happier and settled away from their mother - as awful as that sounds, they're safe.

My query is, who should be getting my money each week to care for the child? I've been continuing to give it to my ex partner through a bank transfer each week, but I don't know if it, or any of it, is actually going towards providing for our child. If I bypass my ex partner and give it straight to the family friend then I know she will insist on going through the csa and then there's the attachment of earnings, the debt which will have mounted up and the frustration of having my earnings taken to be given to a woman who is not caring for my child and the child seeing none of it.

I work long hours to provide for all my children and have always been as fair and accommodating as I can be, even changing jobs in the past to be able to have my eldest child live with me when they were turned out by my ex partner. I physically cannot have my second child live with me so I just want to do the right thing by them, financially.

Many thanks in advance
Bob

Quote
Topic starter Posted : 10/05/2016 4:02 pm
(@got-the-tshirt)
Famed Member Registered

Hi Bob,
.
Welcome to the forum, I think you are stuck at the moment, as you have been told the child maintenance needs to be paid to the person claiming the child benifits which I'm guessing your ex still is, as you say if you stop paying her and pay the family friend chances are she will go straight to CSA and inform them you haven't paid, unless you can force her hand to stop claiming the child benifit then I don't think you have many options.
.
Do you get along with the family friend? maybe they could inform the benifit agency that the child is living with them and try to claim the money then you would be able to pay them directly instead.
.
GTTS

ReplyQuote
Posted : 10/05/2016 4:39 pm
(@Child Maintenance Consultant)
Noble Member Registered

Hello ConfusedBob

Child maintenance is general paid to the person who is in receipt of the Child Benefit. I have included a link on the eligibility for Child Benefit that you may find helpful, https://www.gov.uk/child-benefit/eligibility.

If you have a case with the Government’s statutory scheme, you would need to contact them directly to discuss your concerns regarding your payments. You will find their details on any letters they have sent you or on Gov.uk at https://www.gov.uk/child-maintenance.

For more information on all the different ways to set up child maintenance and for a more personalised service, you can visit the Child Maintenance Options website at http://www.cmoptions.org.

The DWP have a sorting out separation web-app that you may find useful. It offers help and support to separating and separated families. The link is: www.dad.info/divorce-and-separation/sorting-out-separation.

Regards

William

ReplyQuote
Posted : 10/05/2016 6:11 pm
Share:

Pin It on Pinterest