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Hi Everyone,
First time poster on here, but thought I would throw this out in case anyone has had a similar experience or could share some wisdom/advice with me. I will try to be brief and to the point, but apologies in advance for the length of the post.
I separated from my wife roughly 1 year ago now. We have a 4 year old daughter. When we separated, I moved out, and took virtually nothing from our (rented) place other than clothes and a few other items. She kept all furniture and a car, which is still registered in my name (not particularly relevant, but adds to the situation). I had also (until very recently) been paying her mobile phone bill; her number was on my account, and she was supposed to be giving me money to pay for her bill every month, but mostly didn't do so. Her last bill was ~£100 (relevant in a little while).
Not long after our separation, we met for a drink and had a chat about payments for my daughter, coming to the agreement that I would pay (directly to her) a slightly reduced amount of maintenance, based on the fact that I was taking responsibility for paying off debts accrued as a 'couple' (tbh, mainly from her), totaling around £700 per month at first. These have since reduced (due to me paying them off) to about £500 per month. Now, the major problem here is that when we accrued the debts, all credit had to go in my name, as her credit rating was so bad...
At my job, I have something called 'flexible benefits', where we are allocated a certain amount of money to put towards our benefits package (pension, medical etc). These have to be selected every year, around this time. I had added my ex on to my private medical insurance previously, and decided to remove her from it now that we are no longer together. This is where the fun begins...
I contacted her this week, informing her that I had removed her from my medical insurance, and also that I needed the money she owed me (£140, from her phone bill mentioned above, and for something I bought for our daughter on her behalf). Knowing that she would never pay me the money she owed me, I made the suggestion that I remove it from the money I pay her each month and she could cover it instead, preventing her from having to try to find the money from somewhere to give to me. I actually needed it due to Xmas coming up etc, and also because frankly, I would never see it unless I took action.
Today, I came home to a lovely big brown envelope, opening it to discover that despite our arrangement, she has decided (without informing me) to make a claim to Child Maintenance Services, who have decided on a amount I have to now pay which is way out of my budget (£508 per month/£117 per week), considering I also have to pay off the joint debts. They were, though mildly sympathetic, completely unmovable and oblivious to the fact that I am unable to afford this, and will suffer as a result.
Now, I MUST state that I have absolutely NO problem in paying this amount for my daughter. I would pay MORE if I could. I am not complaining about the amount I have to pay, so much as the fact that my circumstances were not taken into consideration, and that I will now need my ex to pay her half of the debts. This is extremely unlikely as she recently left a relatively good, well paying job in order to work on a Pyramid Scheme, and I have no idea how much she earns from this.
The questions I wanted to ask were these;
Despite the fact that the debts are in my name, isn't she legally responsible for half of them anyway, if it can be proved that they were accrued whilst we were together?
Is there ANY way to get CMS to take these circumstances into consideration? (probably not, I know).
If anyone has any advice or guidance, or can help me in any way, I would be really grateful.
Hi
Sorry this isn't my area of knowledge but other members will know more.
I would consider contacting CAB or Step Change for advice on the debts. I suspect she will have no liability if the debts are in your name, if you can't adjust the CMS liability, you should be able to negotiate more manageable payments on the debts.
Hi
The CSA used to take into account certain debts that were accrued during the marriage where that debt was or the benefit of the family - credit card debts weren't taken into account. I'm not certain, but I would guess that the CMS work under the same rules. However, the debt repayments are taken off your monthly salary for the maintenance calculation, so the reduction in maintenance is actually very small. Whether you can get any recovery of the debt from your ex would be more something that would be sorted out in the divorce. I would certainly get your ex's phone off your immediately and stop paying anything else youmight be doing for her, and I would speak to the CAB to get advice about your car - I would say that you might be able to take that back.
As suggested, I would also speak to stepchange.org - they may well be able to help you with your existing debt before it become unmanageable.
Despite the fact that the debts are in my name, isn't she legally responsible for half of them anyway, if it can be proved that they were accrued whilst we were together?
Is there ANY way to get CMS to take these circumstances into consideration? (probably not, I know).
If anyone has any advice or guidance, or can help me in any way, I would be really grateful.
No, she is not "legally" responsible for debts (in your name). As previous posters say, such things would normally be sorted as part of the financial settlement during divorce.
The CMS should take into account debts accrued whilst together (called Prior Debts), whereby the NRP continues to pay -but retains no interest in (such as a mortgage payments on a house lived in by the RP, or car lease payments used by RP). Credit card debts are (routinely) taken into account.
In order to get the ball rolling you must ask CMS for a "special expenses variation".
hope helps
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