Welcome to the DAD.Info forum: Important Information – open to read:
Our forum aims to provide support and guidance where it can, however we may not always have the answer. The forum is not moderated 24 hours a day, so If you – or someone you know – are being harmed or in immediate danger of being harmed, call the police on 999.
Alternatively, if you are in crisis, please call Samaritans on 116 123.
If you are worried about you or someone you know is at risk of harm, please click here: How we can help
I've been paying my ex-wife through a consent order for a few years and have never missed a payment; despite the fact she has repeatedly stopped me seeing the children and booked holidays when the children are supposed to be with me.
She would now like to move the girls to a private school and has asked me to contribute, which in principal I have no issue with at all, even though she has already confirmed she can afford this all herself. I have a great relationship with the kids and want to help if I can.
However, as it stands if i make a payment I would then effectively be overpaying against the CMS guidelines and what happens if I then get a pay rise? Will she be entitled to request a further increase and state the school contribution is outside this arrangement or can I use the extra contributions I will have been making as a way to offset this or even say I've been overpaying against the order?
unfortunately like most divorced people I have an inherent distrust of my ex and want to ensure I don't give her any means to take advantage further as she has done historically without being in control of it?
Any help appreciated
Paying parents are able to make discretionary payments, over and above the amount calculated via the CMS. If you wanted t make payments into her bank account, you could reference the payment as " discretionary payment re school fees". You can stop or amend the amount you pay at any time, so if the amount increases you can make adjustments to the discretionary payments.
If you are concerned, you can open a claim with the CMS yourself, they will calculate the amount depending on your gross income and the number of children, making a reduction for the number of overnights the girls stay with you. Here's a link to their calculator
www.gov.uk/calculate-your-child-maintenance
If you ar paying through a court order, after 12 months any claim opened via the CMS overrides it.
Hello Bampton13
It is possible to change the terms of your Consent Order, but to do this you would need to seek legal advice. This usually results in going back to court to set out the application on a standard form. The court will then consider any changes. For advice on changing a Consent Order you could contact Civil Legal Advice, the Government funded confidential legal service. You can find more information about them, including their contact details, on their website at https://www.gov.uk/civil-legal-advice.
Alternatively, as Mojo has mentioned, once a Consent Order has been in place for 12 months (providing it was endorsed after March 2003), either you or the other parent can apply to the Child Maintenance Service and the Consent Order will no longer be valid. You would only legally be responsible for the amount worked out by the Child Maintenance Service, and would not be obliged to pay for anything extra, such as school fees. Therefore, any additional contributions you were to make would be voluntary.
For more information on all the different ways to set up child maintenance and for a more personalised service, you can visit the Child Maintenance Options website at http://www.cmoptions.org.
The DWP have a sorting out separation website that you may find useful. It offers help and support to separating and separated families. The link is: https://www.sortingoutseparation.org.uk/.
Regards
William
Welcome to the DAD.info forum.
We don’t like to set ‘rules’, but to make sure that you and the other dads are kept safe, we have some requests. When engaging with the forum, please be aware of the following:
- The forum is not moderated 24 hours per day.
- Many of the moderators do so on a voluntary basis. Whilst they may be able to provide some guidance, advice or support, they may not be able to deal with specifics.
- We are not an emergency crisis service so if you or someone else is in immediate danger, please call emergency services.
- If you are concerned about the safety of a child, please click here to find the support you can get for them (link to new page)
- If you are in crisis, please call Samaritans on 116 123. They are open 24 hours a day, 7 days per week.
We hope you find this forum a supportive environment and thank you for joining us.