Welcome to the DAD.Info forum: Important Information – open to read:
Our forum aims to provide support and guidance where it can, however we may not always have the answer. The forum is not moderated 24 hours a day, so If you – or someone you know – are being harmed or in immediate danger of being harmed, call the police on 999.
Alternatively, if you are in crisis, please call Samaritans on 116 123.
If you are worried about you or someone you know is at risk of harm, please click here: How we can help
Hi, almost 2 years ago my wife left me for another woman, I have 2 kids (12 and 15) who both stayed with me at the family home, divorce is now been completed. During 2015 my ex went 7 months without seeing or contacting the children and paid £6.50 Per Week, Per Child on a family based arrangement. She finally started seeing the children in November last year, of which I was supportive of, and they started staying with her for 2 nights per week.
4 weeks ago, after a disagreement with my eldest daughter (15) after I was unhappy with a developing relationship on social media with a 20 year man, she (my daughter) decided to leave home and go and live with her mother.
Only 2 weeks into this, I have received a claim from CMS (Child Maintenance Service) asking for £480 per month (please bear in mind that the mother only works 15 hours per week) I have challenged this as my youngest child (12) lives with me,(still sees her mum 2 nights per week) and they have now come back with a figure of £440 per month. They have based my earnings on my 2014/2015 P60 which was £50k per year Gross, but won't base it on my latest 2015/2016 P60 which shows i earned £43k gross.
During our divorce I have taken on the Mortgage and all associated debts for the household, and I cannot afford to pay the said amount, and will only be able to pay by missing mortgage payment which will obviously have a risk in me loosing the property.
If anyone could give me any advice on how to challenge or get through this situation it would be appreciated as I feel I have no where to turn.
Unfortunately, as unfair as it is, if your daughter is staying with her mum and she's opened a case with CMS, you will have to pay. I'm by no means knowledgeable on maintenance issues but I don't think there is anything you can do about it. You can speak with your local MP or CAB for further info.
If you can prove that the debts you have taken on were for the benefit of the family, and incurred while you were still together, you should be able to get this taken into account, but I'm not sure that it will make a great deal of difference to your overall payments.
Welcome to the DAD.info forum.
We don’t like to set ‘rules’, but to make sure that you and the other dads are kept safe, we have some requests. When engaging with the forum, please be aware of the following:
- The forum is not moderated 24 hours per day.
- Many of the moderators do so on a voluntary basis. Whilst they may be able to provide some guidance, advice or support, they may not be able to deal with specifics.
- We are not an emergency crisis service so if you or someone else is in immediate danger, please call emergency services.
- If you are concerned about the safety of a child, please click here to find the support you can get for them (link to new page)
- If you are in crisis, please call Samaritans on 116 123. They are open 24 hours a day, 7 days per week.
We hope you find this forum a supportive environment and thank you for joining us.