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Hi there,
New to the site and forums. Story is like so many others on here. In a nutshell I was with my wife from 2010-2022, we have 2 girls together. We did everything backwards, we had children in 2012 and 2014, got married in 2016 and bought our first home in 2021. 6 weeks after we moved into the new build house she started up an affair and we split early 2022. Initially we stayed in the house together though never in the same room and went to and frow with the idea of marriage counselling but eventually gave the job up as a bad one (coincidently a day after her 30th birthday) 6 months later I've moved out of the family home I now rent privately and she has the house.
I work full time, she part time, any day I am not working I have her kids, she does whatever, it amounts to shared care as per the Child Maintenance service website but she has denied this to them and insists it's an average of just 3 nights and they work out I should be paying £253p/m until I can get a court order stating we have shared care between us. On top of us this i still pay half of the mortgage payments for the house as that's something I can't avoid. so in total I have almost £500pm i am not seeing out of each pay packet, as well as having zero free time which i am starting to feel the effects of. A court order will cost us both £232 to my knowledge and i'm 99.9% certain that any goodwill we have between one another will vanish the second she gets wind of the possibility of receiving a penny less from me in CMS payments.
the housing situation she will happily drag out for the next 9 years until our youngest turns 18 or leaves full time education which will affect my ability to get a mortgage on a new property should i manage to save yet another deposit and as far as the CMS are concerned my top line wage is all that matters they will not take into account what i have to pay in rent for my new place and my half of the mortgage on the marital home along with the general costs of the kids when they're with me, which as a shift worker can be, 2 nights or 5 nights a week it is on a 26 week pattern. But there's plenty of days where i will have the kids in the evening just not overnight, or in half terms where i'm working nights so i get by on 2 or 3 hours sleep i have them all day so she can work and not use holiday days.
I understand, we can't sell the house as it is all negative equity, there's no money in doing so. She can't buy my share as she only works 22.5 hours a week so no lender would consider a re mortgage in order to buy me out, besides there's no incentive for her to do so when i'm paying half and she's having universal credit to top up her wage, she effectively works half the hours i do for the same pay, then i'm moving her money on top of that for the mortgage and for the kids. Me on the other hand am extremely short each and every month at the moment and having to work full time on top, i'm a railway worker so i have it all, nights, weekends, 12 hour shifts you name it.
Has anyone had any similar experiences at all and can offer any practical advice?
Thank you in advance to anyone who has took time to read through this.
Hi,
With court application for child arrangements, the form is £232, but just one fee, whoever makes the application. Suggest you try mediation with her and see if possible to reach agreement and get a consent order. can try Carlie at circle mediation: https://www.circlemediation.co.uk/
Can also discuss mortgage/finances
@bill337 thank you, I can't see mediation being helpful but knowing the court order cost is just on me feels better I can just press on with that.
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