[Solved] CMS

Fundamentally if parents separate, the non resident parent will always be liable to contribute towards the costs of raising their child. Contact and finances are two separate issues in the eyes of the CMS and Courts. Ultimately, if there is no contact or there are financial difficulties, it's always the child who suffers and it's their welfare that is paramount.

I am not too sure that the CMS is concerned about the child welfare. I did not receive questions as to why I was not put on the birth certificate? Or would you like to have parental responsibility? They are interested in money - as is the mother of my child. I find it all rather flabbergasting to be honest. I do not see the logic. If someone chooses to have my baby against my will (for instance after a one night stand)- then the mother has the right to keep the baby - okay fair enough - but how does it make sense that if a father does not have rights about the decision to keep a child or not - how is he then still responsible for paying mainetnance to the child? And how can a mother refuse all rights to a father - not put him on the birth certificate etc. - and then still just start claiming a big chunk out of his income even if she is a dentist herself.It does not appear to be about the child at all. So if this is all just the law - than I wonder should we not educate our boys and young men and not only warn them against STD's - but more importantly - against the possibility that a girl can destroy their life? Sure - to everyone that this type of thing does not happen- they will think it is just only a few man that this happens too - but if you read that the DNA test proofs 20 is actually not the father - there seem to be a large number of man who are victim of this type of scam. Or in a similar vein, is it not strange that if you [censored] up (excuse my language) someone s life by for instance claiming he is the father while he is not - these are not even a criminal offenses. A man like that pays his whole life for a child that is not even his. I can easily see that women rights have been appalling in the past - but it is also quite clear that male rights in this type is situations is at this moment in time far behind and quite frankly shockingly unfair.

There are legal ways to prove whether or not you are the father of a child and to gain contact with said child. Perhaps we ought to educate our sons to wear a condom and prevent unwanted pregnancies rather than on the consequences of the actions of men and women who are not capable of putting their childrens needs before their own.

In any civilized modern Western country men do not grow up with the idea that having [censored] is to make babies. Women us contraception. In addition people fall in love and when they fall in love they can trust the other person even if this is not justified. This is something that young men do not realize. Why would someone that I love be out to screw me over later? So I think it is a bit simplified to say men should just wear condoms - I would like the man who never made a mistake in that regards to raise his hand?

And yet again - if we would argue that we are not in a civilized country and having [censored] is just to procreate than we should educate our man that this is a potential danger. Indeed always use condoms not only because you can get an STD but also because you can not trust some women - and with the current law it would be better to NEVER trust a women. In the end this law harms women and society because the more harm you cause in families the more it comes back to you as a boomerang.

Indeed lets make sure that children have parents that both were happy that you were born and that both want children and that both have equal rights to contribute to their offspring.

...and what about the child in all of this? Not once have you mentioned the child, having [censored] can create babies and regardless of love or just [censored], if a person isn't ready for a child or doesn't want one then it is up to that person to take precautions.

Contraception is the responsibility of each of us, your body, your responsibility!

Yoda has given you some good advice, if you dont believe the child is yours seek a DNA test...if it turns out you are the father theN it's your responsibility to help provide for that child, whether you wish to form a relationship with him/her or not.

We could debate this matter all day but it will get us nowhere. Ultimately parents are responsible for their children financially and emotionally and there are legal routes available to parents having any difficulties with any of these issues.

I'm sorry to hear your situation is difficult and making you angry, if we can offer any specific advice to your situation, do not hesitate to ask.

Hi,
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I think what has been said in response to your post is spot on, if you don't want children then wear a condom, or have the snip to protect against un wanted pregnancy, but if you haven't done that and you are a father as a result, then you have a legal obligation to pay towards your childs up bringing, however even if you were to remove the law which means you have to provide, you actually have a moral obligation, the child is your flesh and blood it took 2 of you to make it, so why shouldn't the father pay towards the up bringing.
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The even more important issue as already pointed out is that there is a chld involved, they didn't have a choice as to whether contreception was used to prevent them being born but they are caught up in the middle, if you want to have some contact and some say in the way the child is being raised then there are channels available and we can help you through.
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GTTS

Hello BenG

Every child has a right to be provided for by both of their parents and as your child's father, you have a legal responsibility to financially support your child. In the eyes of the law, not being on the birth certificate does not change this.

A father can make sure they are named on their child's birth certificate by going with the mother to register the baby's birth. If she will not agree to this, then what happens next depends on whether the parents are married and where they live. In England and Wales, if parents are married when their baby is born, both parents automatically have Parental Responsibility. In Scotland, parents only need to have been married when the baby was conceived. If they are not married, the father would need to apply to the courts for a Parental Responsibility order.

Paying child maintenance does not guarantee contact with a child because as Yoda mentioned, child maintenance and contact are separate concerns which are not linked in law. Any issues over one should not affect the other and although you do not currently have contact with your child, you can still contribute to their upbringing by paying child maintenance. Many dads find that once they start to contribute financially, this leads to better relationships with their child's mother as well as their child.

If you would like to form a relationship with your child and require support with making a regular contact arrangement and obtaining Parental Responsibility, you may wish to seek legal advice. Civil Legal Advice (CLA) is the Government funded confidential legal service. Their contact details can be found on their website at www.gov.uk/civil-legal-advice.

If you have any concerns with your existing Child Maintenance Service arrangement you can contact them directly, using the details they will have provided in any letters they have sent to you.

For information on the different ways to set up child maintenance and for a more personalised service, you can visit the Child Maintenance Options website at http://www.cmoptions.org.

The DWP have a sorting out separation web-app and you may find the Children and Parenting section useful. It offers help and support to separating and separated families. The link is: www.dad.info/divorce-and-separation/sorting-out-separation.

Regards

William