[Solved] Childcare payments

Hi There,
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Typically when you pay CSA that is all you are liable to pay, your ex has no obligation to supply you with nappies or clothes for your time with your daughter, as unfair as this is it's quite common.
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It would depend on what agreements have been made with regards to the childminder fees after your time with your daughter, if that time with the childminder was supposed to be your time then yes you would possibly still be liable to pay those fees, if this was just something you did to help the ex out then you could stop this payment and just pay CSA.
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GTTS

Great thanks for your reply

Well my children are staying with me overnight but that is to suit her because she is going to work for the following day, I have been flexible on her schedule all the time and have always just gone with the flow being flexible and having them whenever I can

Realistically I have been paying a whole day of child care for a couple of hours in the evening with my children.

It takes a lot of effort as I work full time and have to get ready for work as well as getting a 7 year old and 2 year old ready in the mornings, for school and child minders and all it entails, then paying packed lunches for my little one and all of the effort for what is realistically not exactly quality time with my kiddies.

For example I have been finishing work 6pm and getting them at 7pm, they then need to go to school / child minder the following day so I have paid the while day child-minder for the brief time in between 7pm and bedtime so 30 min with my daughter and approx. 1 & 1/2 hours my son.

It seems a lot of effort and cost for what doesn't really seem like quality time with my children. I am trying to have this realigned so that I take the day off that I am having them and drop them to school pick them up and spend the day with my daughter but so far no cooperation from my estranged wife who appears to be able to call all the shots at the moment when it comes to what is going on with their care and time with me etc.

I feel that if she is receiving such a large amount of money then childcare should be her responsibility and I am happy to drop them off to child-minder but cannot afford to pay the day childcare if she is obtaining so much money by way of CSA. I don't mind paying for my children I just want to know what is fair really and this doesn't seem fair to pay both CSA and childcare so she can go to work.

The time at the child-minders is for time that she is at work, but as I work full time it wouldn't say it should be classed as my time really as she has picked them up from child-minders each time after her work finishes.

What are your thoughts on this? Should I tell her I am no longer willing to pay childcare and she needs to pay it from her CSA money? I am waiting to hear on divorce settlement with her perhaps I would be well advised to wait on some type of response on this before broaching this subject?

Unfortunately for all involved it has become rather strained between us and her focus seems to have turned to money without any regards to the children's welfare by keeping the children from me, reducing contact etc.. It is a situation I am not happy about but I have tried my hardest to be friends and to work together but there is a massive amount of things that went on from her and is not working out as I would have hoped.

She has been taking all advice from friends who seem out to cause as much trouble as possible and in her words told her to "take me for everything she can" in the beginning she had promised that she wouldn't try to rip me off however she has changed her focus now and is out to take everything she can get. I am a firm believer in Karma and whilst she may win short term I am certain that her actions will catch up with her when it comes around and will be entirely her own doing. she single handily blew apart our family by what she claimed she wanted and did irreversible damage to the marriage meaning we could never be a family again, my boy has taken it pretty badly and his behaviour give me concern, it has been tough when he has told me he wants us back together and hard to explain to a 7 year old why this will never be possible.

Thank you for any input you may have and sorry for essay was just trying to set the tone for you to have a better understanding

Hi There,
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If I understand it right, you collect the children from the chilminder when you finish work and drop them back the following day, so my view is that as you are having the children in the evening you collect, you should pay for that evening, when you drop them back the following morning so your wife can work, she should bear the cost of that day. I would try and push the idea of you having the day off (that I would assume you would norally drop to CM) and have drop to school and keep the 2nd for the day, if she continues to argue this then drop it in that you intend not to pay for the day they are dropped at the child minders as you can be available to have them.
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Hopefully I have understood
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GTTS

Hi ya,

Not quite, she would drop them to me 7pm in the evening the day before she is due to work, (I finish work 6pm) they would literally more or less go straight to bed (give or take an hour or so) and then I get up in the morning take them straight to child minders as I have work next day.

She then collects them from the child-minders that afternoon, but I am paying the child minders for the day. Doesn't seem that fair to me?

She is currently getting around £450 per month from me so I don't see why I should pay for childcare so she can go to work as well to be even better off.

I love having my children but it is hardly quality time seeing them for an hour or so in the evening followed by all the hustle and bustle of getting them up ready for school / child-minders pack lunches etc. and paying childcare for the whole day all that just for an hour in the evening with them

Hope that makes better sense now?

Hi There,
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Sorry, yes I understand, in that case as you say it isn't fair and effectively you are paying child care as you say so she can work, you did say you wanted to take that day they nornally spend with the CM off and have them/drop to school, as I said I would push this further and tell your ex that you won't pay for the CM fees for that day as you can be available to look after the children so if she continues to deny this request then she will have to pay for that day herself from the child maintenance you pay.
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GTTS