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Hi, all new to this forum, sorry for the wall of text, but I'd be grateful for any advice or opinions on this matter. My son is 4, lives with his mother, I had to go to court after split with mother (son was coming up to age of 1 at this point). So managed to agree to ordered hours and days of which I could see our son. As time goes on, his mother becomes more amicable and lets me spend more time with him, which is awesome and I was really grateful for, even agreed to changing my Tuesday with him to a Wednesday due to my work commitments. So all is going well, now all of a sudden; his mother asks for more child maintenance money as he'll be starting school (I've already agreed to pay half for his uniform), I say I'll have to see if I can give extra (circumstances have changed since, I have a fiance and a 1 year old daughter now) but before I can give a definitive answer she tells me and hands me a peice of paper stating the court ordered hours and days (Tuesday+Saturday) knowing full well that I can't do a Tuesday, and insists that she will be sticking to court ordered hours since I'm not willing to pay extra, even though I did not say a clear 'no'. I know that these are the court ordered hours, which were agreed, but she has been giving me extra time with him and was ok with the Wednesday for ages now, he loves spending time with us and we value every minute we get with him. Would it be easy to go back to court and put forward a request for change of days? Hope this makes sense, cheers!
You would need to try mediation first, but if that didn't achieve anything, then yes, you can go back to get the order varied - I would think there would be a good chance that the court might order the change as your request is quite reasonable and it will maintain the same level of contact with your son.
Hi, thanks very much for the reply. I've put in for mediation earlier today, I did try before hand via text to reason with my son's mother, stating that the change of day makes no difference to her at all since it's been the set thing for pretty much 3 years, and asked for a reason as to why Tuesday is better, she basically told me Tuesday is better as it avoids conflict such as this, which makes no sense, I hate conflict I hate dramas, I was not aware that conflict is more likely to happen on Wednesdays more so than Tuesdays? Anyway, I'm not holding breathe on mediation, since any text I send regarding our son is immediately perceived by her as harrasment. If this goes to court, do you think it's likely to be a lengthy and costly process? I've obviously done it initially in order to see him after the split, mediation didn't work then she did not show up, but the court proceedings were lengthy and pretty much dragged out by her, since she had legal aid and knew that I did not...
l would look at doing this yourself rather than using a solicitor, that way you have the court for of £215 and that's all you pay apart from time. I'm not sure that she would be eligible for legal aid this time either,
We have many members that have self represented with much success, it's doable and we would advise and support you through the process.
As far as I can see from the limited information about your case, I can't see that it could be dragged on, it seems fairly straightforward to me. You have already had this change worked into your arrangement for a long period of time and it's a routine your child is familiar with. I would get the process going as quickly as possible to avoid the original schedule setting a new precedent.
Legal aid is no longer available for family law cases, unless there has been provable domestic violence within your relationship in the last 5 years. It is still available to cover the cost of mediation though, so it would be in her interests to get an agreeement in place to avoid a return to court.
Unfortunately, some mothers suspend all contact when they receive court papers, something you might like to take on board.
All the best
Hello Dyer
If you and your son’s mother have a family-based arrangement in place for child maintenance, it would be between you both to discuss and negotiate what is included within your agreement. Family-based arrangements are not legally enforceable and there are no strict rules or formulas to stick to when calculating child maintenance via a family-based arrangement. Therefore, parents can decide the terms of their agreement to suit their circumstances.
The Child Maintenance Options website has a useful tools and guides section that you and your son’s mother may find helpful when trying to negotiate your family-based arrangement. These can be found at http://www.cmoptions.org.
If you have a case with the Government’s statutory scheme you would need to contact them directly to discuss and concerns you have regarding your payments. Paying parents are legally responsible only for the amount worked out by the Child Maintenance Service and are not obliged to pay for anything extra, unless they wish to do so.
In regards to the contact order you have in place you would need to seek legal advice on where you stand with this.
For more information on all the different ways to set up child maintenance and for a more personalised service, you can visit the Child Maintenance Options website.
The DWP have a sorting out separation website that you may find useful. It offers help and support to separating and separated families. The link is: https://www.sortingoutseparation.org.uk/.
Regards
William
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