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Hello everyone…
I am new to this site and wondered if anyone had any advice relating to child maintenance issues.
My wife left me with a new bloke 12 months ago and abandoned the children, I moved out with them to my parents house. They lived with me for 12 months, I had to buy them new clothes, food all of the essentials. I could never request child maintenance from her as she was down as the residential parent, claiming all of the benefits and living in the 3 bedroom house.
She had them for once a week, if that and cancelled more than she actually had them. We have it all documented down. Last week out of the blue she decided to quit her job and go on benefits full time, she stopped me seeing them for 7 days but then allowed me to take them on holiday with my family. We got back late and put them to bed as school the next day, she came up to my parents house where the boys were asleep, drunk, at 9.30pm demanding we take the kids out of the bed to her house as I had apparently kidnapped them. Police were involved.
Now she has the kids, she wont let me see them, we are going to court… done mediation got the form I need.
I have now received child maintenance request, how can this be right… she is not letting me see the kids, isn’t child maintenance done based on how often you have them. I want them 50/50 hence why I am going to court, so why will I owe her anything? I have had them for 12 months, in fact, she owes me! She earns more money in benefits than I do self employed. how is this fair? how can I appeal against this and put this on hold whilst we are going through the court.
Your help is much appreciated!!!!
Hi there
Unforunately maintenance and contact are entirely separate and one isnt reliant on the other. She is within her rights as the resident parent to open a claim with the CMS.
They're not interested in her income and only look at the non resident parents income to calculate the amount to be paid.
Heres a link to the CMS calculator, so that you can get a rough idea of what they may ask you to pay, although being self employed this may be difficult.
The CMS wont put it on hold, the claim is now active and payment will be accruing from the point that they contacted you. Sorry to be the bearer of bad news.
Best of luck
Yep, that's correct...contact and child maintenance payments are separate things. You don't pay to see your kids, you pay towards there upkeep.
Although courts do tend to side with the mother on where the kids should live, this is only if they have no other reason to consider otherwise. By the sounds of it she has caused upset to your children by firstly breaking up the family and then effectively abandoning them. I may be wrong (and I really hope I am) but if she only wants your kids to live with her so you have to pay her CM then that's of concern in itself. I obviously cannot decide on that or judge you or her as I don't know either of you, but that would be my main priority - making sure the kids are happy wherever they are and not just there so she can claim money off you!
Also, you need to detail all of these things that have happened and the disruption she may have caused and stand up for yourself and your kids in court. Show the court what you think is in the best interests of your children. Show you can look after them and care for them and can afford to support them. Make sure you show willing to allow mum access as well as all kids need there mum, even if only once a week or two. Be the better person and do whatever is in the best interests of your kids. I don't know how old your kids are, but it may be worth talking to them first and finding out what they want to do.
Hope that helps in some way. Good luck!
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