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Hi all, i feel i'm at my wits end with my situation. My marriage broke down after 8 years and I moved out and had to build up my home from scratch. We have four children. They stay with me 3 times per week, I pick them up from school every day and they come to my house and have tea 7 nights a week and i take them home for bedtime unless its one of the 3 days a week they are with me. I am not divorced yet but financially wife is secure, she works part time, gets all tax credits and DLA money for one child and she has a new partner and their income also, she doesnt have to contribute much to rent or council tax.
My situatiion is that i work full time, pay full rent, i have very little money at the end of the month and sometimes i dont have any. I dont have any luxuries as in sky, phone bills and have no other way of saving any money. I cant take my children out on days out as i dont have the money to do that, i do have a car which i need for work and to collect the children from school every day. I do not pay my wife any child maitenence as she knows my money situation and the fact i do alot for the children and spend a [censored] of a lot more time with the kids than what she does.
I work nights so i only have one night a week where i can do my own thing, i mentioned to my wife that i think she needs to spend some more time with the kids and on the days that im in work she should do there tea for them and i would still pick them up from school and take them back to her house for 6pm. She is now saying she is going to speak with the CSA as i should be providing for my children, she has already booked two holidays abroad this year and she is not short of money, she just wants to ruin my life even more so than what she already has done. She knows by doing this i would have to give my house up and my car, which would have a massive effect on the children and myself, as i would have to move back in with my mum so i couldnt have the kids staying with me, she would end up having the kids 7 nights a week, i would have no car to get to see my kids and shes not thinking of the consequences of her actions, she just wants to line her pockets even more and make my life a misery!!!
is there anything i can do? My kids love coming to my house and love spending time with me and this could all be ruined and destroy lives!
Hello stresseddad79
Child maintenance is paid to the parent with the main care of the child. Because your children stay with your ex one extra night than with you, she would be classed as the parent with the main care, despite the daytime care you have.
However, the amount that you would be asked to pay would be greatly reduced as the three nights per week you have your children would be taken into account.
The Child Support Agency (CSA) no longer deal with new applications, it is now the Child Maintenance Service. You can view in detail how they work out their calculations here, https://www.gov.uk/government/uploads/system/uploads/attachment_data/file/325219/how-we-work-out-child-maintenance.pdf
There is also an Online calculator on the Child Maintenance Options website which will give you an indication of the amount that the Government would consider reasonable for you to pay, http://www.cmoptions.org. The amount of income that the receiving parent has is not taken into account as maintenance payments are the personal contribution of the paying parent towards their children’s upkeep.
Of course, the Child Maintenance Service are just one option when setting up a maintenance arrangement. Another option is to set up your own family-based arrangement which is an agreement between the two of you without the involvement of the Government or legal system. There is also the option of setting up a maintenance arrangement through the courts in the form of a Consent Order.
If you would like any further information about the options and to receive a more personalised service, you can contact Child Maintenance Options directly.
The Department for Work and Pensions (DWP) have a website, ‘Sorting out separation’. It aims to make it much easier for separating and separated parents (and childless couples) to find the support they need, when and where they need it, and encourages them to collaborate on a range of issues. The link is https://www.sortingoutseparation.org.uk/
Regards
William
Thank you William for your help, I will look into this further!
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