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Hi Guys, hoping to get some thoughts and advise from others experience here.
I am a single dad involved in shared care arrangement for my 9 yr old boy. He is with me Sun 9am until Wed 7pm, so its 4 days and 3 nights. Remaining time he is at his mum's (family home) which is 4 nights and 3 days.
Due to lack of communication from ex, Divorce is halfway through, mediation didn't work and possibly I need to file in court for finances too. During mediation, I did offer to take complete care of my son's financial needs all the way upto completion of uni.
As it stands I have moved out last year and living in a rented flat which I pay for myself, I am continuing to pay mortgage for family home each month, I pay for all of son's expenses - sports classes, tuition, entertainment needs, school lunches etc.
Ex has all of a sudden filed CMS application and been told to pay up considerable sum each month.
In my understanding this is a 50/50 care as I thought I have 4days/3nights and ex has 3nights/4days. This is where I have gone wrong terribly as CMS just wont listen apart from counting the number of nights.
This care arrangement was the outcome of a long court process spending thousands of pounds and a lot of time. I can't imagine going back to the courts to get that extra night with my son to make it 50/50.
It seems like hitting against a brick wall as CMS just wont consider any of these points.
My boy stays with me 4 days (3 nights) which includes 3 school days so I do the school run on the those 3 days and take care of couple of classes during my time as well.
Can anyone please suggest if there is any way I can prove son spends 50% time with me and save myself from the burden ?
And not to mention Ex is in a full time job and earning 50K annual sal, but not paying for anything other than her own bills.
Hi,
Cms like counting nights. But they also state if day to day care is equal, then there's no maintenance to pay.
I would recommend you join this CMS group on Facebook. Experienced members there:
Thanks much for your previous responses, based on checking lots of information from other posts as well as FB groups I have decided to submit for mandatory review on the decision as I believe I should not be paying any CMS at all.
I am planning to provide the following as evidence to prove day to day care that I manage is more than time with Mother.
- My son stays with me from 9.00am Sun until 7.15pm Wed (effectively 4 days / 3 nights), including breakfast on Sun and dinner on Wed !
- Includes 3 x school days where I manage drop/pickup
- I pay for school lunches for entire month, not just for my days
- I manage his dentist appointments (address updated to mine) and also have evidence that I have attended with him for previous appointments
- school primary address set to mine
- I manage his karate class and also pay for it (Mon 5-6pm)
- My son is preparing for 11 plus exam and I manage his tuition classes, help with home works and also pay for it (Sun 10-12)
- I have evidence of paying for gifts when he attends his friends' birthday parties (both in my care and otherwise)
- I have evidence of paying for school uniforms, shoes etc.
My son stay with mother looks as follows:
- Stays from 7.15pm Wed until 9.00am Sun (3 days / 4 nights)
- no activities or classes to attend
- only 2 school days (Thu/Fri), nothing to pay for school lunch
- Any birthday parties he attends during this time, gifts are paid for by Father
My frustration is there is total lack of communication from the Mother and I have decided to manage my son's expenses entirely outside of CMS anyway. The monthly mandated payment from CMS doesnt make sense when I am managing almost all costs from my side.
All this for someone who earns £50K per annum and yet gets away with CMS application with such ridiculous claim.
Sorry for the long post, but please do advise if I am missing something to highlight day-to-day care such that I prove its 50/50 care if not more with me...
My understanding is that they normally go with what the resident patent tells them. Can you speak to your ex and get her to advise them of the situation. She should have had to declare this on her application at the start about shared care so it does not sound like she has done this.
@snooks74 there is absolutely no communication through any channel with the mother involved. Their solicitors are as useless too. I am also considering varying the order to get an extra night as there are other problems which justify the variation.
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