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Hi, I'm after some advise please. We have been split up for around 6 weeks now and the first thing that was spoke about was maintenance. I was and am keen to pay it. It goes without saying I love my son more than anything, he's only 9 months old. So not seeing him every day is a big hurt for me.
I contracted kidney failure at the age of 18. When I was 25 I started an Apprenticeship which statistically, was harder to get this apprenticeship with a well known engineering firm than it is to get into Oxford or Cambridge. During my apprenticeship I had a kidney transplant which lasted only 19 months. I worked extremely hard to get myself a good career, I didn't let anything set me back, I am determined. It took me four years of hard work, college assignments etc to complete my apprenticeship, through which time I had numerous illnesses and to an extent, I was close to intensive care if they didn't start me on a treatment. This treatment killed my kidney transplant so now to this day I'm back on dialysis .
I met my ex towards the end of my apprenticeship to which she fell pregnant. We spoke about giving the relationship a go and we did. I vowed to complete my training and get a permanent job which I managed to achieve. Now I am on a good salary, we have hit a bad patch and decided to split up. Now she knowing my wage, she has demanded maintenance which I can't believe I have to pay that much. I am all for paying maintenance but I see my son as much as possible even though he lives 80 miles away now with her mother so it is heartbreaking. When I see him I buy him whatever he needs. I have him 2 to 3 nights a fortnight. I provide everything for him.
I really do not think it is fair that I have worked so hard with kidney failure and life threatening illnesses to plough through an apprenticeship to make sure I completed it on time for the arrival of my son. My ex moved in with me and I paid all rent all bills going. I strived for a good career which I managed to achieve, only to give away masses of maintenance - my hard earned money that I deserve after such a rough time for four years. Don't get me wrong, I love my son and he will never go without, I want to pay maintenance but not to the tune of 300+ a month. I offered 200 a month and she said no. Well if she had any decency and pity, she would sympathise and just accept the money. It annoys me that she wants maximum amount considering my circumstances. The quality of my life is poor. I am on dialysis 3 times a week and feel ill constantly but still I go to work.
If I went to a solicitor, would they take my case into consideration? If so would I have a chance of paying less? That is my money I worked so hard for whilst very very sick and for her to just say I want X amount is just infuriating.
Thanks very much.
Hi,
Having issues with maintenance myself, have a look at this calculator from HMRC https://www.gov.uk/calculate-your-child-maintenance
It will at least give you an idea of the statutory amount you could be forced to pay.
Hi there, welcome to the forum and sorry to hear about your health & separation, must be a difficult time for you.
I have deleted your duplicate topic and moved your question to the relevant section where hopefully it will get more responses.
There is a minimum you have to pay if your ex goes through the CMS, as has been said, you can calculate this amount here;
http://www.cmoptions.org/en/calculator/
you can then figure out a way forward with your ex.
http://www.cmoptions.org/index.asp - explains everything else you will need to know.
I don't know if your health would warrant any variation of the amount you will be expected to pay, your travel costs to see your son might though. The amount you pay should go towards food, bills, rent and childcare for your son.
Finances and contact are difficult issues to discuss following separation, this tool might be of use to you;
http://dadinfo.splittingup-putkidsfirst.org.uk/home#getStarted
It might be worth considering mediation to discuss these issues together, the earlier you get them resolved the less chance there is of your situation escalating.
Hello Toytoystoys
Thank you for your post. From what you have written, it does sound likes it has been a difficult time for you. As Yoda has mentioned, you can gain an indication of a payable amount of child maintenance based on the Child Maintenance Service's rules by using the Child Maintenance Options' calculator. This can be found on their website at http://www.cmoptions.org/en/calculator/. You can also find more information on how the Child Maintenance Service works out child maintenance on Gov.uk at https://www.gov.uk/child-maintenance.
If you and your ex-partner can come to an agreement privately via a family-based arrangement, both of you have the freedom to decide how much child maintenance that will be paid and the form that it will be paid in, such as you directly paying for things that your child may need or you contributing towards your ex-partner's household bills. Although family-based arrangements are not legally-binding, both of you have the freedom to decide when child maintenance will be reviewed.
Child maintenance can also be set up using the Child Maintenance Service (of which fees will apply) and via the courts in the form of a Consent Order or Minute of Agreement (for people that live in Scotland). To discuss child maintenance in more detail, you may wish to contact Child Maintenance Options directly. You can also find more information on their website at http://www.cmoptions.org/.
You may be interested to know that the Department for Work and Pensions (DWP) have a new web application, 'Sorting out Separation'. It aims to make it much easier for separated parents to find the support they need, when and where they need it, and encourages them to collaborate on a range of issues. The link is: http://www.dad.info/divorce-and-separation/sorting-out-separation.
Regards
William
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